"Home is where My Mother is. "
"And after she's gone, i dont know where home is...."
***
I was 20 when my Mom die. It was hard. It hurt. It hurt so much that made my heart felt empty. I wish i was dreaming. I always tried to sleep and prayed 'hoping when i woke up my mom was alive'. Well, It never worked.
My mom was my everything. She is the LIGHT of the family. So when she's gone. So did our family LIGHT. No laughter. No chit chat in living room. No home cook. No hugs and kisses. No one wait you to come home and give you the warmest welcome. No excitement anymore. Just a sorrow.
Its been 9 years after she passed away. But still Home is not home anymore without her. It just a cold house. And how about the life after she's gone? ITS FUCKING DAMN HARD. Yeah life beats me many times. And i dont have her to help me, to encourage me, or just simply to give me hug kisses and says 'everything gonna be alright'. I just have myself.
When i feel beaten and tired with my life. I like to look up the skies. Thinking bout my mom's face and what will she says. Will she said "im proud of you" or "i miss you so much" or "hang on there, live will treat you good one day... Just hang on" or she just will smile and hug me. I would love to get hug from her.
Mom, i lost. And im still lost. I dont know what should i do. Maybe a hug in a dream would help me.
