ℙ𝕌ℝ𝔼 𝕆𝔹𝕊𝔼𝕊𝕊𝕀𝕆ℕ •ℕ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕒•

•𝟟•

𝙈𝘼𝙔𝘼𝙉𝙉𝘼

His eyes captivated me, I moved back onto the bed moving closer to him. He placed his hand on the small of my back I could feel the warmth of his breath play upon the tender skin of my face we sat so close. Gradually he pulled me into s deep kiss, timidly I kissed back. But I don't want intimacy right now, that's the last on the list of what I want. I diverted the situation resting my head on his chest. Hearing his gentle heartbeat, wrapping my arms around him. Yearning to be held.

        He wrapped his heavy arms around me laying on the bed, softy he breathes into my neck. "Did he ever even hold you?" He asked in an almost boastful way rubbing my back. I couldn't even answer, "why don't you just leave him...what has he done for you?" I shook my head sniffing into the pillow, "he's done a lot for me actually Nick." I defend, "I said that wrong I guess,what has he done to Benefit you?"

    I was speechless as he rubbed my back. "Nothing." He answered his own question, stoping his hand. "And yet you stick under him." He mumbled, he moved his hand up into my hair massaging my scalp. I close my eyes, resting against him.

      "Tell me what he's ever done for you?" He asks so many personal questions, and yet I answer. "Well" I sniffle starting my answer. "His family always knew my family they all went to the same school growing up, our dads worked together, our moms were pregnant with us...at the same time. Shit we even lived in one big ass house for a couple of years, we were so fucking rich...than." I cut myself off, rolling over so he was the big spoon and my back was facing him. He came close breathing against the back of my neck, leaving a soft kiss.

"Than I became a fuck up, high school started, I was wild I thought I was grown, I fell into drugs, sex and everything else." I looked around the room, trying to find something to focus on while retelling my story, fighting back the heavy tears ready to fall.

"I got kicked out of the house, but Derek he fought so hard for me, but their conclusion was final, and after that Tammy took me in with her family, I'd known Tammy since elementary and the rest is history." Finally I felt another warm tear glide down my cheek, heavily I began thinking about how much shit I've traded through in my life, and how I caused most of it myself.

   "When's the last time you saw your parents?" He questions innocently, my breath caught in my throat, softly I answered. "Last time I saw my mom she was in a casket, and that's where I saw my dad for the last time....with his young wife and twin boys, and he didn't even try to speak to me."  I looked longingly at the door, zoneing out remembering the day, how He looked at me almost disgusted, like he didn't even know me. I don't even know why he dared to show up at her funeral, and I didn't care to ask.

           "So you've been without your parents for a while, from Tammy's straight to Derek's place....y'all moved in together." He said almost knowingly,breathing lightly against the back of my neck. I nodded, "her family adopted me, literally...legally I am her sister, legally that baby is my niece, but yeah I got with Derek a few months before graduation,  that was a year or so before my mom passed."

I could hear him contract a slight  sigh. "Damn...that just makes it even more-"  "fucked that They would do that to me." I ended to his blunt sentence.