I left the gym sweaty as hell and feeling satisfied an hour later. It had been a while since my last personal training session and Jack completely kicked my ass (not literally). What I loved most about working out was the ability to concentrate at the task at hand, focusing on my goals: to get toned and become stronger and faster. However, today I ended up thinking about what Martijn texted prior to my gym session. "You're making a mistake," the words replaying in my mind like a broken record. What the hell was that supposed to mean? I desperately wanted to know, but waited until I got home in order to find out.
"I'm back," I yelled whilst ascending the stairs, wondering if both Martijn and Alicia were at the flat. They usually did their own thing once a week, the former spending a few hours at the library to study and the latter going out with her siblings and/or friends. I, on the other hand, cherished this day because it meant I could film and edit videos in peace as well as get chores done without any distractions.
"Alessandra, you there?" I heard Martijn say, his voice a bit shaken up. "Come in," I said, unlocking the door so he could enter. "Can I talk to you?" He asked, sitting on the neater side of my bed. Feeling sweaty and gross, I was hoping this conversation could wait, at least until the next fifteen minutes or so. "Can I shower first?" I asked, grabbing clothes from my drawers. "Sure," he replied, still waiting.
I came out of the bathroom wearing something casual, perfect for the hot weather: a white blouse tucked into a pair of denim shorts. Not bothered enough to do anything about my recently cut hair, I just let it air dry and do its thing. "You wanted to talk about something?" I asked, grabbing the bin filled with my skincare bits and sitting on the floor in order to fix my face, so to speak. "Actually, I do," he said, inching closer to the point wherein our legs were touching. "What's up?" I asked, curious about the words that were about to leave his mouth.
Hesitating, Martijn went to where I was, occupying the space beside me. "You're making a mistake," he said, repeating what was written in the text message he sent two hours ago. Annoyed, I put down my sunscreen and turned around to face him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, infuriated. He had no right to say this, not now. Much like he used to do, he put one arm around me and took my vacant hand in his. "I really think you should not be going on this date."
I wanted to hit him, yell. However, doing so was a bad idea considering Alicia was still here. "You have no right to say that," I uttered, applying the sun screen and moisturiser mixture that was on my hand onto my face, neck and ears, massaging it in. "I know, but," he choked on his words, silence filling the air once again. "But what? You don't want me to be happy?" I got up, putting the bin back in its place then proceeding to my bed to get some editing done.
"I don't want you to be with him," he said, shutting the door so that Alicia could not hear our conversation. "That's not for you to decide," I answered, angrier than I was earlier. "I love you," he told me, inching closer to the point wherein our faces were an inch apart. "Your girlfriend is in this flat, in the other room for crying out loud," I pointed out, moving away. "I'm gonna break up with her. I want to be with you," he moved closer, our legs and arms touching.
Tears started streaming down my face and I came to the realisation that I wanted to be with him too. But, there was another woman in the picture and I knew I couldn't be with him, not like this. I was about to move closer when Alicia suddenly came into the room, a shocked expression on her face. "Is everything okay?" She asked, looking from me to Martijn. "Yeah," I said, getting up, "Martijn's just being an ass." Not wanting to be near anyone at that moment, I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed my laptop, handbag and house keys and headed out the door.
With an hour to spare, I went to the nearest Pret and finished working prior to texting Liam to meet me there instead of picking me up at the flat.
