a love as pure as mine

cotton candy-colored sunset

it was a beautiful sunset. with pink and blue and orange swirls taking over the sky, golden rays peeking through the clouds with their final farewell to the rest of the world. i wish i could've gone back to that day with you, where your eyes reflected the beauty of these sunsets.

but they did you no justice.

sunsets were my second favorite works of art, with you occupying that top spot. i remember when i actually met you in art class, a class everyone took only for an easy block.

but you took your talent to that class and spread it for everyone to enjoy, along with your infectious personality and happy persona. your dark brown eyes and dark brown skin were things of beauty, and I wish that you'd saw yourself through my eyes.

but when you looked in the mirror, the only thing you saw was a shell of a person, one who was breathing and living, but were they really alive?

I missed you. I missed you so much, with your candy-sweet words and beautiful voice and the joy you brought to me.

im selfish, i admit. i wouldn't want to share you with anybody, anything. but in that night, when you spilled to me your secrets, i was frightened, at first. frightened of what this world would think, of how society would react. society was vicious, yes it was, and it would chew up boys like you and spit you right back out. society wasn't fair. it wouldn't love you like i did, would it?

i told you my thoughts, and you only looked at me with sadness in your eyes and a pitiful smile.

"are you protecting me?", you asked, "or reassuring yourself? that this is the right thing to do, to let me be?" , and with that, you left me standing there, out of breath. 

but you deserved better than me, you deserved someone who loved you equally as much as you loved sunsets, and it pained me to say that possibly? that wasn't me. 

and the following day, when you walked hand in hand with that new boy you had told me about, i felt happiness.

because even if you didn't love me that way, it was enough to see you love someone else. 

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author's note:  Happy Pride Month! this is long overdue but for all my babies out there that are afraid of coming out...that is ok! your fear is justified, as society can be a BITCH sometimes, but if you ever need someone to talk to, i am always open to listen to your thoughts. and to all those fearless warriors who dgaf, then keep on doing you!!! 

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