I watch the water whirl around the sink, it circles the plug, getting closer and closer as it moves, and then the water disappears.
I feel my feelings disappear with the water. All down the drain. They are dead, they are gone. I look up to the mirror in front of me, and tidy myself up. I try not to cry, but it's difficult to keep the tears in. I hear a knock at the door. The person who knocks on the door, knocks three time. Before I say anything, my father walks in. He has a black suit on, with a black shirt and a white tie. I can tell by his bloodshot eyes that he has been a little emotional too.
It’s been exactly one year since my mother died, but the police only just found her about one week ago. Dead. Dead in a river. The one she used to play in when she was little. The one I went to when I was sad. It was my safe haven. Until now.
I walk with my father out of my room, you can tell by the smell of him that he hasn't showered since they found the body. He smells like someone killed his emotions, and then made him sleep in a pool of dead rats. But I simply ignore it, it isn't something I should bring up right now. As we reach the car, I decide that I should say something. I like having silence between myself and other people, It allows me to think. But my father hates it, and I need to think of my family right now. But it's hard, I can't think of something to say. I scan my head for questions, but they have all disappeared. I sit in my seat in the back and wait for my brother. He is around five years older than me. Timothy, his name is. He hates it, so most people call him Tim. I call him Squash, I have since I remember.
He opens the door, and leaps in the car. My father starts to drive off before Tim shuts the door. Eventually he does, and we make no comment about it. Tim turns to me and smiles, I look back and smile at him too. When Tim turns back, I look down at the folded piece of paper in my hand. It is a little sticky from the sweat on my hands. It's something I need to read out in front of everyone at my mother's funeral. I'm really shy, but I need to do it for her. It will be my last present to her
"Z? Are you ready?" Tim asks, I look up to notice that we have stopped and parked. Ready to go. I get out the car, Tim's hand goes around my waist. We both stop and wait for our father, who is finding it really difficult to keep up with us.
"Zella and Tim, you go ahead. I will catch up later." He says, bringing out a little smile, just to please us. We walk to the grave yard, outside the church. People greet us, and tell us that they are sorry for our loss. I try not to get into a conversation too much, or else I will start crying. Someone in a black suit starts to talk, we all listen while looking at the ground. Nobody wants to show their face, not even me.
"Now, here is Zella, Ann's daughter, with some words she would like to say." Like to say? I walk up to the little stand the man was standing on, and open my piece of paper. I don't dare look up into the hollow faces that look at me. I keep my eyes on each word on the paper I am holding in front of me.
"Some angels are disguised as daughters. That's what my mother used to say. I used to think that what she meant by this was that I am a sweet little daughter, who is very innocent and like an angel practically. But now I know what she meant. She said that I was an angel, because she knew that I was a sign to tell her something. A lot of people say that they see angels before they die, I guess I just came 15 years too early." I feel my tears slowly fall down my rosy cheeks. One drops on the paper, on the word angel. I look up to everyone, women weeping, and men trying to keep the tears in, but all were failing. I quickly look down and carry on. "My mother never found the key to happiness. But that's because the door was never locked. And when she noticed this, when she noticed that she has found the open door to happiness, she ran to it. And when she got through the door, she thought that there was nothing else to do in her life, and she knew that it is very easy to open the door again and leave the happiness. So she left us. But she left in happiness, and she left the door open for us." I walk down from the little stand without making any eye contact.
I look at Tim, his strong face is now weakened. I can't deal with it anymore. So I run. I run away from everything. From my life, from my mother, from all the hollow, teary faces. There is only one place to go, the river. It's my safe haven, and it's where my whole life is. My mother wanted to die in happiness, so she came here to die, in our safe haven. When I reach the river, I take off my heels, which are now ruined, and I climb my tree. The tree that my parents planted when I was born. They named it 'Zella', after me. I'm not a great fan of my name, but most people just call me 'Zee'. I sit in the tree, leaning against the trunk, and cry. I keep crying until I am completely dehydrated, and when I am I wipe my eyes, and slowly move down the tree. Checking where I put my feet as I move.
"Going somewhere?" I hear a voice from the other side of the river. I swerve my head in his voices direction, to find a tall boy, about 1 year older than me. He has dark brown hair, and bright green eyes that I can see even though he is about 15 metres away from me.
I know his name. He sat next to me once when there was a fire at my school, I was about six years old. We watched the fired burn the school down together. At one point he held my hand, while the teachers were trying to keep everyone calm. But it wasn't the teachers that made me calm. It was him.
And his name is Archie. Archie Maddox.
