I end up putting a face mask to get all of the mascara off my face. Nothing else was working. Not only did Archie leave me, but he also has cancer. I don’t want that. I don’t want him to have cancer. I don’t want him to leave.
When I get back from my ‘trying-to-get-my-mind-off-Archie’ shopping trip, as Tim called it, I fell asleep. And then, when I woke up, I went to school, which I have never really thought about recently, because the most interesting part of my life was Archie, and now its school.
Weeks go past before I cry again. I thought that I would be alright, but during my biology lesson I was sent home after being ‘forced’ to learn about cancer cells. Tim told my teacher what has been happening recently, and now I have a slip to allow me out of any cancer talk, just for now. But the consequence with that is that I will soon need to catch up when everything is okay. Soon hopefully.
Months go past. It’s the winter holidays again. I haven’t spoken to Archie recently because he has been so tired. Once I was talking to him, and he suddenly went silent. I screamed down the phone, but then his mum picked up to tell me that he has fallen asleep. After that, I didn’t talk to him; I don’t want to waste the energy he barely has just to make me feel better. I will wait until he calls me, so I know he is ready to talk again. I really cannot wait for that day when I pick up the phone to his voice.
2 years past, still no phone call. The 2 years go slowly, it was horrible. I hated every second of it. One day Aloha comes into my room, just when I finished my homework. She knocked 4 times before she opened the door. I was glad that she came in. She sits on my bed, and then opens her mouth.
“Hey Z. Are you alright?” She asks me, I get up from my desk and sit next to her on my bed. Her hair has been curled and she looks like she is just off to a party. She wears slippers and a dressing gown, but her hair, make-up and nails are all done.
“I’m fine. Where are you going?” I ask her; a little curious to wear she is going. She looks down to her left hand, which I notice isn’t painted in a navy blue colour like her other hand is.
“I will tell you if you can do my other hand.” She passes me her nail varnish and I open it, taking the access paint off the brush before she puts her left hand on my leg so I can do her nails. “I am going on a date, with Squash.” She says. Even though ‘Squash’ is a nickname for me and Tim, I always like it how she uses it too. “Apparently it’s a special date, so he said you look extra pretty.” I don’t look up to her, but I can tell that she is smiling, just by the way her voice is.
“Can I see your dress?” I ask her, putting the last coat of nail varnish on her thumb. I close the nail varnish pot and look up to her to get an answer.
“After my nails are dry.” She tells me, and I nod. “How is everything going? Have you talked?” She asks me. Aloha is like a sister to me again, I can talk to her like I talk to myself, honest and never hides anything from her, because she will never judge.
“I’m really scared.” I tell her, I feel a tear run down my right cheek; I wipe it off and sniff. “I don’t want to lose him.” I say when I notice that she doesn’t know what to reply. She looks at me, scanning her brain for something to say.
“Things will get worse before they get better, I’m sure this is just the worst part. All you need to do now is to wait.” She tells me, she is dead serious. I think she might be right, but you never know, maybe this is the best part and the worst part hasn’t come yet. I don’t know if this will be his last good day or if that day has already past. I hope it hasn’t. Aloha’s nails dry and we take a look at her dress. It’s the exact same colour as her nails, navy blue. It is beautiful, and I love it. She has some simple black shoes to go with it, and when she puts it on, the dress looks even prettier.
I am about to go downstairs with Aloha so I can say goodbye when they go, but then I feel my phone ring. I force it out of my pocket, it’s Archie. I pick it up now sitting down on the stairs. Aloha runs down the stairs to tell Tim that it’s Archie.
“Hello? Archie?” I say a little louder than I was meaning.
“Hi Zella, this is Archie’s mother here.” The woman on the other side of the line tells me. My heart sinks, why isn’t Archie calling me? Why does his mother need to talk to me.
“Is Archie alright? What’s happened?” I ask her, giving myself no breath while I am talking.
“Zella, Archie-“ She is cut off by someone who is trying to get her attention from the other side. I feel like screaming down the phone to get her attention back, but it might be a doctor talking about Archie. She eventually gets back on the phone; her voice is soft when she tells me sorry for cutting off. “Archie . . . is . . .” There are accidental pauses while she talks, “Doing . . . so well.” A huge sigh escapes me and that when I notice that I was holding my breath.
“Thank God! What’s happened? I haven’t spoken to him for ages; I was so worried when you called me.” I tell her, letting myself breath again.
“I’m sorry to frighten you, I just wanted to tell you that his surgery went-“
“Surgery? I didn’t know he had surgery?!” I cut her off, I can’t remember anyone saying that he had surgery. “What did he have?”
“I should have told you; again, I’m sorry I didn’t. He had keyhole surgery on his right lung. It went very well. He is back to his old self again, and will be coming home in one week. His-“ I cut her off with crying and screams of excitement. I try to keep calm, but I end up hyperventilating and try to stop. Eventually I do. “He has just been told, but I called you before he could call you. I need to tell you something.” I freeze, waiting for an answer. “Archie has lost all of his hair, and can’t come out of the house to see you when he gets back. He has been put on strict bed rest for about 3 weeks.” She tells me. I hear the door shut, remembering that Tim and Aloha have a date.
“That’s fine, I will be fine. It’s alright.” I tell her.
“His hair is growing back. It just going to be tough for him. You can visit any time you want.” She tells me, trying to grip my hope again. “I need to go now and talk to Archie. He will call you soon, best wishes.” We say goodbye and then I run outside, I run to the river. When I get there, I go to my tree, and climb it. I sit in my usual space and look up into the sky. I hear birds chirping, and the whole world is alive. But then that’s when I hear it again. That’s when I hear the beeping. It goes on and on and on. Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . . Beep . . .
It won’t stop. I try to ignore it, but I feel myself moving closer to it. I feel myself fading away. I feel like my spirit is leaving me. But I know it isn’t. I quickly jump out of the tree when I feel myself getting dizzy. I lie on the floor, and hope that I will just faint again.
And I do.
