Speechless

2.

"Hey! Wait, you didn't answer my question!" He shouts and runs towards me. I turn around and look at him. He's so pretty...
Wait, what am I thinking?!
He's just a boy from my neighborhood. A pretty boy...

I just runaway and go home.

***

Today is Tuesday and my timetable told me, that I've got sports. I love sports! I joined the volleyball team with my sister, we were the best two players, but I stopped playing since she died. I also rode Mountainbike and played basketball, I did a lot of sports but I'm not interested anymore... . Maybe I just should pretend that I'm sick and don't feel well so I can go home after my last class before sports.

I just arrived at school and now I stand in front the Main building as Niall comes towards me with a grin on his face. "Hey, I asked your classmates, your name is Quinn right?" I just nod, why is he talking to me? I don't want to talk. I can't talk anymore, why isn't anybody noticing?! I want to go home, back to Connecticut where my sister was still alive. And where I was the happy Quinn and not the sad, quiet and lonely Quinn.

Niall

"Hello, Quinn? Are you okay?" Why isn't she answering my question? She's not even talking to me. Did I do anything wrong? Is she talking to other people? Maybe she don't likes me... maybe she has the same terrible past like I do.
This girl is so pretty, she looks like a princess as she stands in front of me and stares at me.
Wait! I don't know her, she's just a normal girl and looks like a prin- like a normal girl.
I know she's staring at me, because I'm the most famous boy at this school. And it's annoying me that everyone has to stare at me like they've never saw a boy before.

"Niall why the hell are you staring at this girl?! She's new and you don't even know her. There are like one thousand girls which look much better than she does and they really want you."  That's Kyle, he's my best friend since primary school, we're always together and he's the most famous boy at school after me. „I'm not staring at her!" „ haha yes, you're not staring at her..." he laughs „ you stare at her while your eyes telling that you think she's hot, pretty and cute." he says. „Well, it might looks like I think about that, but actually I don't do!" Shit! Is it so obviously?!
Ahhhh, she's just a normal girl! There are like 1000 other girls, which are more interesting!

Quinn

Why is he staring at me?! Is there something in my face, like cereals or something? I look at him and walk away to my next class. My eyes probably tell stories about me and my past. I don't want them to, maybe someone would catch me thinking about Hailee. Oh Hailee, I miss you! Why can't you come back, why had had this happen to you?! Why couldn't it happen to someone else, or at least why couldn't I be the twin which was kidnapped?! I hate that, I hate it so much! You didn't deserve that, you were supposed to have a nice life with a family, a big house and children! I don't deserve what's supposed to be yours...

***

„Quinn, could you please tell me something about Adolf Hitler?" my history teacher... I don't say anything, I don't know, how to talk. Actually I know everything about Hitler, when he was born, about his wife, about everything he did. It was Hailee's and my favorite subject at school, we studied always together especially history. But I can't talk anymore. He looks at me as he wants to say something like ‚helloooooo? I'm talking to you, could you please answer my question?!'. After one minute silence and an embarrassed Quinn, he asks a boy behind me the same question, he answers and smiles, like he just won a very big trophy. I don't like him, he's the biggest Nerd I've ever seen.
Im so glad, that the teacher didn't ask me another question, because then, everyone thinks, that I'm stupid and dumb. Maybe I am stupid and dumb because I don't know how to talk anymore, because my sister died, there are maybe people out there, which would live the same life as they lived before, even though their sister or brother died, but I can't, I cant live the same life as I lived before, because I feel like there's missing something, well actually there is missing something or someone. Hailee. Hailee is missing, she was my twin and my best friend, we were always together and always did everything together: if she missed volleyball, I did too and if I was sick she was too and that's how it was. I hate having to think, that she was. I want to say that she is. That she is still alive. That she is still talking to me. That she is still laughing at me and laughing with me. That she is still being crazy. That we are together.

Schools over and that's good, because I hate it, when people stare at me and think, I'm dumb and never catch them staring at me, they probably think I'm stupid, because I don't turn around, yell at them and ask them what their problem is. I'm different I just ignore them, but I can feel their eyes on my back either way. It's annoying and I hate it.

After I got home I go to the beach again and who is there again? Oh yes, Niall. Why is he always at the beach when I am?! Is he following me? I just walk the other way so he won't see me.

But how the hell could I think, that he won't see me?! I would've gone home again if I knew what would happen now...