Trust Issues: The Risks Of Partnership • Sean & Kaycee

3C. Audrey

It had been a week since she last saw Sean. They had gone longer without seeing each other before, like when he would go on vacations abroad, but not like this. Not without a single FaceTime call or text. He hasn't commented or liked any of her posts, or even viewed her IG Stories. As far as she knew, he hasn't been online.

Kaycee didn't know what to make of his radio silence, but each morning, she found herself praying that he would finally come around. She never went anywhere without her phone, afraid she would miss his call or reply too late to his text. But none ever came.

The days wore on too long and too quiet without him. She forgot how less often she laughed without him. She forgot how much space they took up in each other's lives, how central they have been in each other's day to day. There was now a Sean-shaped hole in her world, and she didn't know what to do with it.

Is this what people mean when they say they need closure?

But Kaycee wasn't even sure if she wanted that. She meant what she said about Sean outgrowing her as a dancer, but she didn't mean for him to cut her out of his life. She wanted to be in his life until they were 84 years old too.

On the eighth day, Sean came.

Kaycee was in her room, trying to get her homework done. She took the habit of wearing her red Lewser shirt at home, but she was in denial if it subconsciously meant something. It was pitiful, she had to admit, but her family was polite enough not to say anything.

"Hey, sweetie." Her mom, Laura, knocked on the door. "You better go to the garage."

"I'm in the middle of writing my report, Mom." Kaycee replied, not bothering to look up from her laptop.

"Just please go. You'll thank me later." Her mom's voice turned amused but pleading, yet Kaycee still didn't look up from her screen.

"Mom."

"It's Sean." That got her attention. "He's in the garage."

Kaycee was not proud of how she reacted in the moments that followed.

She jumped up from her bed, pratically throwing her laptop to the other side. She haphazardly pulled her hair out of its tight bun, and knocked some things around in an effort to find a comb. Stomping here, bounding there, she was a human tornado. But in the end, her need to see Sean outweighed her embarrassment at her current state.

He's seen me in worse.

She raced down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, that her mom had to yell after her to be careful.

Sean Sean Sean Sean. Please be okay please be okay please be okay.

The door to the garage was open. From the entrance, she could already see that Sean's back was to her. She couldn't see his face, but his shoulders were tense. A part of her wanted to run away, and pretend she didn't know he was here. A part of her wanted to break down and cry on the spot. But she soldiered on, quietly padding into the room.

Maybe she wasn't as quiet as she thought, or maybe he could feel her presence shift the room, because he turned to face her without a word.

He looked...good. Which she oddly found disappointing considering what a mess she had been. Except for the quiet storm tainting his eyes, he gave nothing else away.

"Hey." She greeted him quietly, suddenly unsure about how to approach him.

She hated not knowing where she stood with him. He was her other half, the person who has seen her through the highs and lows. Now, she couldn't even figure out what to do with her hands.