Mikasa's Diary

Horse Face and Secrets

3/17/19 Dear Diary,

Today Armin asked me what my secrets are. He said it was for "medical reason". 😑 Yeah right Armin. So I told him:

#1 I call Kandari "mama". And not just in the bedroom.

#2 I smoked once before, I was depressed and Jean and Annie pressured me into it. I had one cigarette and I was sick for the next few days...I never smoked since.

#3 I had a "crush" on Sora. When I was in my early teens I was questioning my sexuality, when I was younger I never had time for love and crushes. But in my teen years I heard the other girls giggling about cute boys, but I never felt that way. So one day when Historia asked me who I had a crush on I said Sora Dormirè Hirayoka. Even though that wasn't quite true. He was attractive for a boy...with his purple hair and his contagious smile, but I stuck with that lie. I tried to convince myself. I tried to spark romantic feelings...and perhaps sexual ones too, but no matter what I did, it never happened. I only felt like that for females...

#4 Jean pinched my butt and I kind of liked it. Now I am NOT saying I liked that son of a bitch. But before I was into Kandari, and before I had accepted my gayness, I was trying to like boys, and I walked past the horse stables, where Jean emerged. He tried flirting with me, and I was so turned OFF by it that I turned to walk away. And he pinched my butt. I actually blushed. I was so ashamed of myself the next day that I got drunk. Heh.

#5 I once ate meat, even though I'm a vegetarian. I was dared to eat a bit of steak, and I was on my period. So I did. I threw up and felt very bloated and depressed. It was horrible.

#6 I like gay porn. Shamelessly. Fuck off.

#7 I have fucked so many people...Hanji, Annie, Levi, Historia, Kandari...
~Mikasa