Girls Guide To The World

The Jungle AKA School

"Where the wild things are." Yeah. Mean girls, annoying guys, harsh teachers, stress and you just wanna punch a wall. Well that's why, me, the awesome is here to HELP you poor souls. Let's start with mean girls.

Like you know they're talking about you, and your like to the person next to you, "hey, they are so talking about me!" Then the one next to you is like, "ugh, your just paranoid." And then she walks away. You sit there confused and alone. Ok for starters, never, ever tell someone that someone else is talking about you. It's whiny and annoying. Plus, them may go tell the other people. So instead you could a) ignore it because you realize how awesome you are b) go up to them and ask them what's so funny c) go and compliment them. Keep your friends close, enemies closer.

One word malady, one word. DRAMA. Whether it's over the cute new boy, or your wearing the same shirt as Miss-Oh-So-Popular, it's a code red, retreat. (Also, whenever I refer to popular girls I call them 'the plastics'. Mean Girls reference.) You never, ever try and squeeze your way in the gossip because it will get you in trouble. Rumors fly, and they fly fast. Like a race car. Or light. Or something fast. You will end up in a dark place of secrets, lies, hurt and even worse, lots of truth. You think everyone wants to be Miss-Queen-Of-Those-Damned-Plastics! But really, I bet she hates it. Everybody knows everything about her. They notice every flaw. Every stain, every wobble in those oh so high heels. So next time someone tells you, "look! The new boy is staring and Miss Popular and She's staring back and they are totally dating in secret and I heard he already has a girlfriend who's the daughter of the king of the aliens from Pluto who arrived last night-" stop her or him. Say "No Gossip, Girl." Then strut away, like, I'm too cool for your stupid gossip about stupid people. And own it because guess what? You just took the high road. Like, superman high, or airplane high, or like, so high, that, like, you can't breathe, because your in space!

That Mean Comment. Whatever it is, wether about your family, your ugly shirt, glasses or bad grade, it hurts. It stings like a bee. And then you replay it in your head along with your other bad thoughts. It's time to rid your pretty heads of those un pretty thoughts. Because everybody has issues. Family is fudge except for a few nuts. And if someone is so freaking shallow like a kiddie pool that they feel the need to comment on your ugly shirt then eff them. They don't deserve attention because guess what girlies? When you apply for Harvard or Dartmouth, Or Columbia, I promise they will not ask you what is in your wardrobe. About the glasses. Ok, if you like your glasses, keep them. Don't mind the comments because all your stars, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez...they wore glasses too. If YOU hate your glasses then get contacts. They're easy to put in even if they look sorta scary. And your grades are yours alone. Next time study more. And please...don't share your grade with others. Sharing is Caring but that only goes so far. Keep those lips zipped and eyes clear of tears because I got your back.

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"A lot of people get so hung up on what they can't have that they don't think for a second about whether they really want it."

― Lionel Shriver, Checker and the Derailleurs