A Tale of Two Elections

November 4, 2008

On November 4th, 2008, the prospect looked good that Obama would be the first African-American president of the United States. I was off from work that day, and I enjoyed getting ready to watch the returns on an unusually balmy day in November. I had voted early, so my vote was already in. I had decided not to go to Grant Park that night, because I was not sure what the results would be. Would there be violence, disruption, and disappointment if he lost? How would a large crowd like that react to such disappointment? I was chicken. It is probably my biggest regret that I didn't say, "Screw it, I'm going!" The day turned out to be a beautiful and balmy night. I wore a blue sweater set and black slacks. I spread my Obama buttons out on my table to decorate. CNN was my network of choice, as it usually is, to watch big news like this. I drank some red wine and, in a happy buzz, I watched as Wolf Blitzer announced that Obama was president-elect. I then watched as Obama and the new first family appeared on the stage at Grant Park to a crowd of 240,000 people. In his historical speech, Obama assured us that "at this defining moment, change has come to America." Echoing Martin Luther King, he spoke of the "the arc of history." It truly did seem to me that that arc was bending, as Obama described, "toward the hope of a better day." Then came eight years later.

November 8, 2016

On November 8, 2016, I put on a blue dress and a black blazer. I put my American flag pin on the blazer lapel. I was so certain it would be a historic day. The first woman president of the United States! Despite the issue of emails, Hillary was still ahead. Comey had announced that nothing was found, after all, regarding the reopening of Hillary's email saga on October 28th. She had lost some ground, but was still strong. I put on the "I voted." paper bracelet I was given a few weeks earlier when I voted early. I had a bunch of Hillary buttons arranged on a piece of white felt.

I worked that day. I joked to a likeminded colleague that I would turn my flag pin upside down, should Hillary lose. Although it was my late day at work, I knew that not much would be known until about 9 p.m., when I got off work. At work, I kept checking the returns periodically. It seemed that Hillary was losing ground, but still could come back. I came home and had some red wine and in a haze of red wine, it became clear that Trump was going to win. I cried and wondered, "Why? How could this have happened?" I went to bed before he was declared president-elect. It all seemed surreal. I couldn't bear to look at all my Hillary buttons that had symbolized such hope for the country to me. Change has come, all right. A total change in eight years from all of the hope this country seemed to have. Not a change for the better.