Somebody To Love - Maylor/Deacury

5 - Fun It (Part 1)

Roger's POV

When we returned to the farmhouse, we wasted no time in starting to drink. I think I was right in assuming that I hadn't been the only one bored out of my mind the past week. After starting off strong with two shots of vodka each, we were sat in the living room playing our favorite game - Scrabble.

"I'll add an 's' to 'signal'," Freddie announced, setting down a tile.

"'Signals'?" John laughed.

Brian mocked the singer, "That's very creative."

"That's practically cheating," I pointed out, taking another sip of my beer.

"No it's not!" Freddie defended himself with a knowing laugh.

Suddenly, we heard the side door open and our conversation paused. Paul appeared in the doorway, standing awkwardly as he observed the room. We all glanced at Freddie, expecting him to break the awkward silence, but he never did. "I'll be upstairs if anyone needs me," Paul finally said. We nodded our approval, then he left the room.

Brian waited until our manager was out of earshot before speaking, "I guess it's just the band tonight?"

"Looks like it," Deaky said with a smile.

If I hadn't been slightly intoxicated already I might have noticed that something was off about Freddie. He reached for the bottle of vodka, "Who wants another shot?"

I grabbed my empty shot glass, "I'll take one!" Brian rolled his eyes, but didn't object when I handed him his own shot glass. Deaky laughed, adding his glass to the line as Freddie poured the liquor.

We continued to drink. The alcohol didn't take long to affect me, and it did - heavily. It seemed to have the same affect on the rest of the band as we eventually abandoned our Scrabble game because we were just too drunk. Our alcohol intake didn't slow down either, and before we knew it we were completely wasted.

At some point I sat on the couch with Brian and Freddie while Deaky messed around with the record player. We were laughing about something - I can't remember what, when Brian gently touched my shoulder. It's a completely normal gesture, especially for friends as close as us, but for some reason I got the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.

I looked up at him, and I felt my face heat up when he returned the glance. For a moment it was as if I forgot how to speak. Then, from the other side of the room I heard Deaky curse, and Brian got up to help him.

My mind was starting to feel foggy as Freddie moved closer. We sat in silence for a moment before he looked up with a somber expression. He lowered his voice, his words sounding slurred from the booze, "Roger, can I ask you a question on the more personal side?"

"Yeah."

He took a deep breath, "Have you ever felt... tempted - by the wrong person?" My confusion must have shown on my face, because he continued, "I'm dating Mary, and I love her more than anyone else. But lately, I don't know - I'll find myself thinking about other people and I feel terrible."

I leaned back, giving his words a minute to sink in. I knew exactly what he was talking about, and I couldn't help but feel that he was only talking to me because he knew I would understand. I finally met his eyes, "I know that feeling."

He took a long sip of his beer before continuing, "Maybe I'm just an asshole, but I sometimes wonder if I'm missing out on something, being with Mary."

At this point, I had no control over the words leaving my mouth. And, judging by the conversation I found myself having, I can assume Freddie didn't either. We were both speaking openly and maybe a bit too honestly. "You feel like she's just a distraction...?" 

Freddie got quiet, then nodded slowly. I had felt the same way about many of my past girlfriends, and the guilt still remained. I didn't need to say anything, as Freddie seemed to understand that my comment had been as much about my past relationships as it had been about his current situation. 

While I wanted to be there for Freddie, I couldn't stop myself now from thinking about my own problems. Considering my drunken state, I should have known that this wouldn't end well. I turned to face him, "What should I do, Freddie?"

He sighed, then almost laughed, because he knew that any advice he gave now would end up sounding hypocritical after the things he had just admitted, "Forget about distractions - go after what you truly want."

If only I had recognized his sarcasm before I did something I knew I would regret.