"Oh my fucking god this is not happening right now, I don't have time for this." Craig Tucker said obviously annoyed with what was going on behind him. For it was a big green ogre with the smell of onions with layers trailing behind his squishy armpits. Craig continued to walk home, this had been happening a lot lately but the ogre had dent gotten this close before. As Craig made it to his house he turned to face the big green monstrosity and said. "Do I know you- I'm pretty sure I don't but can I ask you why the fuck are you fucking following me you creep!"
"OH HEY CREG ITS ME SHREK!!!"
Craig inhaled deeply and let out a long sigh as he tried not to get anymore annoyed then he already was. "Look, Shrek is it... why are you following me, I have plans you know so I'm trying not to be behind schedule like I already am." Shrek watches as Craig took off his blue hat with a yellow puff ball on it as he wiped the sweat off of his brows.
"AH YA YA CREG IM SO SORRY BUT I NEED TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY "LITTLE FRIEND" I CALL ONION. SAY HELLO BUDDY!" Shrek said excitedly.
"Oh I don't think that is necessary-" Craig said obviously taking what Shrek had said the wrong way. (You dirty bastards...)
"Hon~"
"What the fuck is that thing." Craig cried. "It's hideous..."
"WELL THATS NOT VERY NICE, ITS JUST A FRENCH RABBIT WITH RAINBOW STRIPES ON HIS WEE BELLY. AND HE CANT SAY ANYTHING BUT THE WORD HON!!!" Shrek said a little offended that Craig didn't like his pet.
"Hon, hon..." Onion said trying to cheer Shrek up.
"OH FOR FECK SAKE ONION SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN YER WEE LIFE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!" Shrek said with rage.
Whilst de Shrek was arguing with the small gay French rabbit Craig thought it was best to quickly run to safety, that being inside his house.
"WAIT CREG I HAVE NOT SHOWED YOU WHAT I TAUGHT HIM TO SAY-"
SLAM!!!
The door was shut before Shrek could finish his sentence.
"Onions have layers~" Onion spoke slowly as he realised his daddy Shrek didn't get his man.
"YES THEY DO LASSEY... YES THEY DO."
And with that said they rode little plastic chairs into the sunset as they left Craig Tucker's house...
Will Shrek win Craig's heart or will something stand in his way and if so how will he accomplish his dreams?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME, BUH BYE!!!
To Be Continued
YOU ARE READING
Shrek x Craig
FanfictionMmm...DONKEY!!! It's a really cringed/fucked up fan fic about two characters from random shows/movies that my friend and I randomly shipped for no reason at all, just because we are weird and like annoying our two other friends.
