Reborn Online

Dullness

Naoki opened his eyes, the oddly mixed orbs of green and brown blinking couple times inside the pod his body was resting in. He slowly took in his surroundings, ultimately sighing as it was indeed the basement level of his home, only place that was big enough to have the full gaming gear inside of it and had the necessary plumbing mechanism to make a full blown secret hideout where not a soul would be capable of finding him if he didn't wish so.

And Naoki rarely wanted to be found.

One could argue and claim that he was prideful man who thought too highly of himself, but it was quite the opposite. Naoki hated himself to the maximum. Hated himself because he was always hurt, because he couldn't be understood by those who were around him, because he saw things differently, because he was a realist, because he saw how the system didn't work, because he knew that the humanity was build upon piles of corpses that the New generations were forced to climb over, because he thought it was unfair, because he was a genius.

All of his self hatred and bad feelings came from that one source called a brain. He'd be lying if he claimed to have never thought about ending his own life just to make the pain stop, but he'd then have to also deny the fact that he was living just because he wanted to fix things. He had no superpowers nor physical strength, so he couldn't be the kind of hero that saved people by fighting like Captain America and Spiderman did, he lacked funds and skill to become a pilot of a super advanced high tech suit like Iron Man. Only thing he had was his wits and closed off personally, his body being his prison and limitation among with the limitations that were bestowed upon his persona by the society. And he hated every second of his life as a useless person, incapable of becoming a needed part of the machine of the humanity, fated to look at its work by the eyes of an outsider. He'd never be the part, he'd known that as long as his memory went.

Each movement he made was as if in jelly or very thick soup, his mind yearning to return to the world he had a place in, had a worth, had friends. Pained to be fractured apart of the world he wanted to be in. But it was no use, he had to go upstairs, he had to work on the team project, he had to live instead of living. And with each passing moment he felt more and more out of place. It hurt to be there, it felt more like a trap and less like a life worth living. His eyes took in the room and soon closed as the painful reminder of what he wasn't, what he lacked, grew too much to bear.

The moldy grey stone walls that were never made to look nice, accompanied by the darker grey cement floor. It was cold and bare, lifeless, soulless, dull. The only colours in the room came from the wires that travelled around the room, creating unfinished and, dare I even say, depressed look into the space. There was a small kitchen area Nao had built it himself from scratch and spare parts. Learned how from the books, the Internet and the always present lifestyle shows. The secret floor was still unfinished, but it already had enough for one to bunker themself in for decades and live somewhat comfortably. If you weren't into socialising that was. There was a tiny bathroom with working plumbing system, it's own bathtub with a shower option, there was a bedroom like section where he could rest, though he preferred to sleep in the pod while logged into the game, it was more peaceful, more comfortable, more real. Then there was the kitchen and... The game.

Naoki forced himself to walk into the staircase he'd hidden behind a bookshelf, it was very convenient bookshelf to be honest, it was just the right size and easy to move along with the door to which it was attached to. And as he always had the key, and the only one who knew where the keyhole was there wasn't any danger of someone finding his safe haven in his absence. Like this longer absence during which he was forced to host some stupid study circle to his "team" that probably would try to dig through his personal stuff and drink until they couldn't stand and leave his home at 3am. Ugh. People.