Jealousy - LXC x JC Fanfic

Selfishness

Daweng Mountain.

The two sect leaders stopped when they saw each other. Silence fell on them.

Their disciples looked at them, waiting for them to greet each other.

This time, it was Jiang Cheng who broke the silence. He bowed, then spoke – which made Lan Xichen's heart hurt.

"Sect Leader Lan." Jiang Cheng greeted, his voice and face formal.

Lan Xichen's eye twitched, but remained calm despite wanting to scream in pain. Jiang Cheng didn't call him 'Lan Xichen', nor 'ZeWu-Jun' like he used to.

'Sect Leader Lan'... it's the most formal way Jiang Cheng could address him.

"... Sect Leader Jiang." Lan Xichen greeted back, then bowed.

The two stared at each other for like an eternity before Jiang Cheng broke the silence.

He called his disciples. "Go start your night hunt." He told them.

"Yes!" the disciples answered ad immediately ran away.

"... you can now all start." Lan Xichen told his disciples.

"Yes!" they all answered and left.

The two sect leaders are left alone.

"Wanyin – " Lan Xichen called.

Jiang Cheng cut him off. "Better find a place to take shelter tonight." He said. "It'll be raining later." He told him and walked away.

Lan Xichen stared at his back, his heart aching again. That resolute back... he thought. "En." He answered and followed Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng stopped and turned when he heard footsteps behind him. "Why are you following me?" he asked. Lan Xichen looked at him. "I'm not a kid. I won't get lost." He said, frowning. "Stop worrying over little things that unnecessarily warrants your attention!" he told him.

Lan Xichen froze.

Jiang Cheng stopped, realizing what he did. Seems like I can't avoid this confrontation. He thought, then took a deep breath to calm himself.

He looked at Lan Xichen who's still silent. "Lan Xichen." He called.

Lan Xichen looked at him, surprised. He... called me by my name now... he thought, delight bubbling in his heart.

But, the next sentences totally buried that joy.

"I understand that it's in your nature to be nice to everyone." Jiang Cheng started. "Not only because you have an image to keep, but that's how you've raised. That's how you've always been." He said and looked at the silence Lan Xichen.

Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth, unwilling to say the next words. But ... he has to.

"That..." he said, lowered his head. "... just gives misunderstandings to other people." he said.

Lan Xichen's eyes went wide. He looked at Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng steeled himself and looked back at those deep, dark eyes. Those eyes that holds thousands of emotions that should be kept. He thought as he looks at Lan Xichen's eyes.

Jiang Cheng knew, that because of Lan Xichen's position, he has to restrain himself. Not only for others' sake, but also for himself.

Lan Xichen needs someone who could free him from those restraints... and I'm not that one. Jiang Cheng thought, pain eating his heart. Since I'm also restrained. He added, smiled bitterly.

"Lan Xichen." He called. "You could only continue to be nice to others." He told him. "That's why..." he said and looked at Lan Xichen. "... I can't accept your feelings." He said.

Lan Xichen was about to speak when he cut him first.

"I am really grateful for the kindness you've given me when I was down..." he said, then smiled. He's referring to when everybody he loves were lost, including Wei Wuxian who also died. "That's why... I'm distancing myself to you." He told him. "Because..." a tear fell from his eyes, leaving Lan Xichen shocked. "... I only want that kindness of yours to be solely mine." He said.

"Wanyin – " Lan Xichen said.

"... I'm sorry for being selfish." He said, then wiped his tears. His face and voice now back to being cold. "This is where we're both could reach to... Sect Leader Lan." He said and looked at Lan Xichen in the eye.

Lan Xichen didn't answer. Jiang Cheng bowed to him, then walked away.

"Wanyin..." Lan Xichen muttered as he lowered his head. "... I'd give everything for you..." he said.

A tear fell from his eye as the raindrops fell. The sky is crying with him.