Insulin

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Describe what you're feeling

over stimulation

describe what you are thinking

i cannot

im zoned out and aware that the stares and glares and glances of thought are all that they are

developed irrational ponderings

i have anxiety

he is an annoying neighbor that doesnt stop knocking at the door asking for sugar

when i have explained that i am diabetic and i do not keep any in my house

you trigger my anxiety

for all the right reasons

the same ones why I should not be here

i feel so unstable lately

how can you say i look so put together

so confident

so productive

i am falling apart and feel too shy to speak up

i dream of having a car so i could drive so fucking far away

from the madness and create serenity within the darkness

i never wanted so much to scream so damn loud

i am only one amongst this small crowd

frankly i want to die but instead i smile

can we just stop and listen to sound of silence

because i am screaming for help from this little cottage

im crying as i type these words

only two halves of a borderline verse

sometimes i wish i had the confidence to put a bullet inside my head but i just buy sugar instead.

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