Life in my stomach - a Tracker X Sweetie story

7

"I feel you kicking, little angel,"

Sweetie stood in the doorway of the nursery, looking around at the pale yellow walls, decorated with blue and pink and green shapes. A bookshelf and rocking chair were in one corner, crib in another and a changing table with drawers against the other wall. She sighed as she watched the butterfly mobile dance in the breeze that was let in through the window.

Oh the irony of those butterflies being purple.

"Don't worry 'bout the sorrow,"

She took a few steps in the door and switched on the light. Even though the bulb gave a warm glow, the room still seemed cold, sterile and empty. It was eerily quiet - the only sounds being the rustle of leaves from outside and the white haired girl's hiccup-y voice.

"Cause Mummy's gonna be right here until you see tomorrow."

As she slowly paced the room, she gently brushed her fingertips over the wooden furniture, her hand glided along the crib railing with ease, the charms on her bracelet jingling as she did so. She looked at them; one was her name in a heart, one was two snowflakes - a reminder of her and Tracker's first date, the third was a pink teddy bear - a gift from Chase and Skye at the gender reveal party and the fourth was from her mother - a pair of white angel wings.

"I feel your life in my stomach,"

Her other hand settled on top of her shirt, feeling the stillness that once was normal but over the past few months became and unsettling feeling. How she loathed the lack of movement there, the flatness of her body. It was still sore, bruised and scarred. That scar would haunt her for the rest of her life. She cringed at the sound of the paper band around her wrist rubbing the cotton of her shirt and itched her skin.

"I promise I'll protect it cause nobody comes above it,"

She let the tears fall freely down her cheeks as she made her way to the window, leaning her elbows on the sill and looking out over the garden. It was a cool summer night, it was still light outside despite the time. The girl watched as birds flew and listened as crickets chirped.

"And though your daddy wants to take your life away,"

She looked down at the garden she'd grown up in, climbing trees, swinging on the tyre, feeding the koi in the pond, playing with the sprinklers. She had so many happy memories. She once, and still would, have the image of her daughter doing those things with her looking on nostalgically.

She knew it wasn't going to happen, no matter how hard she imagined. This wasn't a dream she could escape from.

"You should know I'll never let him, cause I tell him everyday,"

Tracker watched as his girlfriend cried at the window. He quietly walked over and leaned onto her, his arms embracing the girl from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. He placed a gentle kiss on her tear stained cheek and stroked her hair as she leaned into his chest.

"You see this life in my stomach, regardless if you help me as a father,"

Even though the child wasn't his, the Spanish boy was also in pain. He stepped up and was prepared to be the father figure that Sweetie's - no - their daughter needed. He'd seen his girlfriend through eight months of hardship. Both of them were so excited, so happy and it was all taken away in one swift movement.

He remembered Sweetie's heart-wrenching cries at the hospital. How she'd entered a state of hysteria and disbelief before the grief came crashing down. She'd told Tracker that at least he didn't have to stay with her anymore. He'd replied that nothing would change - regardless he wanted to be with her. He kept repeating how he loved her with all his heart, and that still stood. It always would.

"I'mma love it."