Thantophobia (villain deku) (todoroki X deku)

🌹18🌹

No ones pov

The soup bowls layed empty at dekus desk, his room was split into two separate rooms, and a small bathroom, due to deku being under special supervision, he was placed farther and not in a big housing area.

He didn't eat in the cafeteria like everyone else, he was either brought food and ate with the teachers or he brought his own, then ate in the classroom.

Currently neither boy paid any mind too the growing darkness outside, they sat content going through different shows.

Todoroki stopped fiddling with the random figure he had pulled off deku desk. He look over at deku and cleared his throat, his eyes glossed with worry for only a moment.

Deku sat contempt looking out the window, his face every so slightly wavering, responding to whatever conversation he was having with himself.on the outside at times like these no one would think anything had happened to him, just maybe grew up and started to keep his thoughts to himself.

Todoroki sighed, he studied Deku for a moment-dekus eyes closing exposing his harsh eyebags undoubtedly from his lack of sleep- before returning to his normal self.

“Hey Deku?” todoroki asked, his voice nonchalant as ever, dekus tired eyes opened slowly and glanced over to todoroki who’s voiced sound calm but his tense postured told another story. “I’m sorry” Todorokis voice was laced with regret but was still calm, “i tried so hard to look for you when you went missing."

Dekus eyes widened but he didn’t speak, "I understand," his voice was wavering, "I understand that you felt excluded."

Todoroki couldn't look at him, his eyes wander to the bowls sitting in the floor, "I felt blamed when my mother was taken away," deku studied Todoroki, his eyes were watering ever so slightly.

"My siblings probably thought it was my fault she was gone" he paused "I blamed myself for it, she told me I looked like the basted man."

Todoroki looked deku in the eyes "I've been through that same hurt you went through, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

Todoroki's eyes traveled back to the floor ashamed, "that's why I tried so hard to help you when we got you back" deku looked down at the floor letting his bangs shield his eyes "I couldn't lose you becuase,"

Todoroki, whose eyes had traveled to the floor, now looked directly at deku “becuase fuck, you” deku still said nothing his eye’s only watching, his brain racking for anything intelligent to say in return.

“you were the first person who didn’t just see my dad in me,” his voice got a little louder but softened after he said 'dad.'

“you were my first friend here” todoroki was nearly whispering at this point, “and I’m so sorry i couldn't save you.” his voice was down to a hush.

Deku finally opened his mouth to speak, his eyes weary and unsure, but nothing came out.

Just silence for a while, finally deku did speak “todoroki… I’m sorry" deku felt a ping of pain, deku whispered something so softly no one else could here but him.

"I wish I could tell you everything"  deku's voice hitched, "i couldn't handle being labeled as a villain and yet I went and became one"

"I hurt the people who believe in me"

Deku's eyes widen this wasn't the time or place for his little melt down, he quickly stood up, "i need to use the bathroom" as he walked towards the bathroom the tears he had held in silently escaped.

-

Right now deku's only friend stood on the other side of the door unsure of weather he should leave.

Inside the bathroom stood a mess, his tears were streaming down his face, his reflection felt fake to him, 'shouldn't i be sobbing' he desired to be back to normal.

"I just want my old life back, I want my mother to encourage me, I don't wanna be seen as a villain or a danger to the school, I want to sleep soundly for once" his voice broke into a sob.

What deku hadn't accounted for was the tiny portal near him, and the small device that had just heard everything"

Todoroki knocked on the door, "hey can I stay over tonight? I'd feel bad if I left knowing you weren't okay" Todoroki spoke having heard what deku had said.

Deku had fallen to the floor his legs going weak and his body feeling like lead, he honestly didn't want to be left alone, the league wanted to speak to him and in this moment he was terrified to see them.

"I don't care what your answer is I'm staying" Todoroki stated his voice unwavering.

Todoroki's eyes were sadden and he felt bad, he debated on weather or not he should open the door or wait for deku to come out his self.

He made up his mind the moment he heard the muffled sobbing,  he felt bad, was he the reason that deku was crying, if he hadn't brought up what had happened would they still be sitting on the floor peacefully.

No that wasn't peaceful selience, even he as socially confused as he was understood, that it had been an unnerveing selience.

He opened the door and crouched down, "it's getting late, your sick and crying isn't going to help" he truly had no idea what to do, but for fucks sakes he was going to try.

"How about we find something to watch," he said wracking through his head for ideas " I wrap you up in a burrito and in the morning we go out  and get you some stuff to help you sleep"

Dekus body was so tired and yet his mind kept replaying when he ran from UA and hurt a innocent person, he felt his body get moved off the floor.

Todoroki had grabbed a bunch of blankets and picked deku up, " it's getting cold so here" he felt responsible and concerned for his friend.

Todoroki wrapped deku up in the blanket the best he could, he grabbed the laptop he kept in his bag and placed it on a spare chair, "what do you wanna watch?"

Deku came out of his little shell and mumbled the name of his favorite movie, todoroki found and played it.

Todoroki grabbed a separate blanket and turned the lights off and sat next to deku as they watched the movie, deku Unwrapped him self and laid the larger blanket he had over both of each other.

-
-
-

The movie had ended and both boys were still awake, "you think you can sleep?" Todoroki asked deku who had just recently yawned.

Deku shrugged and looked off.

"Let's get you in bed and if you can sleep still I'll stay up with you" todoroki said going to pick deku up.

When todoroki had moved to get up deku decided to lay down on the floor instead, "just get some pillows it would be unfair of me to sleep on the bed and you sleep on the floor"

Todoroki nodded and grabbed the pillows, "remember if you can't sleep just wake me up and I'll stay up with you"