she woke up to an empty bed
to tear-stained pillows and what to her felt like a hangover.
she didn't want to remember what happened just last night
but those thoughts were flooding her mind
she felt gross
because her eyes were crusty and her hair was greasy
"a shower would help," she thought.
she let the warm water hit her naked body
hoping to wash away her sorrow
though it didn't soothe her like she wanted
she still thought of last night
all the words they exchanged to each other
vulgar and cruel
although they didn't mean it
as she looked at her left hand
her ring finger now bare and there would be no wedding to plan
no white dress
she thought that their love would last a lifetime
he was unfaithful to her, but he blames it on the alcohol.
she wished she never found out
maybe if she didn't know she'd still be waking up next to him
and feeling the warmth of his body holding her
they'd be planing that wedding for months.
she'd walk down the aisle in that beautiful dress and meet him on the other side in his black suit and tie
she pictured him as the type to cry when he'd first see his almost wife
he'd whisper how beautiful she looked
and it would feel like they were the only two in the room
everyone they've ever known would be there
they'd celebrate with champagne
and dance all night.
she wanted to blame him for her hurting heart
she wanted to scream with anger and cut all her hair off
call her friends and go dancing
drink the night away
but she was going to be strong
she's a big girl
she told herself that she doesn't need him to make herself happy
she will learn to love herself and find someone who will love her just the same.
