A REALLY BAD DREAM

I was about to meet his parents in Europe. We were so in love,  and I felt I was appreciated so much.

Finally, I booked my week-long holidays. It wasn't easy. My boss, again, needed me in the office badly. But this time I was determined. I booked my holidays.

He had a working visa in the US. His contract included fixed days-off, so we made sure his and mine days-off align. And we got ourselves plane tickets. To Europe. I was about to meet his family. Oh, Gosh! It was so real..!

Two weeks before our trip to Europe, we had a short spontaneous run-away to New York City. I had a business meeting there. He got cold unexpectedly. The meeting, as well as cold, prolonged a bit. We had a wonderful time over there. Jazz clubs, romantic walks before the dawn in Central Park. The brightly-sad aura of the end of the summer, when very first leaves start shimmer with gold. And his hands... So soft, so warm around me. His lips, so hot, so thirsty on me. His smile, his breath, his immense eyes, taking me to the end of the Universe and back every time I look at them.

What an idyllic two days it was. Finally, Tuesday morning came. Business meeting and cold had to end at some point anyway. We had some scrambled eggs for breakfast and checked out from Fredericks Hotel. There were a couple of hours left until our train, so we decided to take a nice, easy walk with some coffee breaks. Slowly we were heading from West Broadway to Grand Central Terminal. I couldn't take off the smile from my face. I still remember those days as the most promising days of my life. The magical, magnificent, thrilling, moving and touching every cell of mine in my present, my past and my future too.

I loved him. I loved this life. This World. I loved good and bad – everything in between and beyond. Every little piece, every tiny thing around made so much sense to me then. I took the first sip of cappuccino and smiled to him at "Cafeteria" when suddenly we heard barista swearing really badly behind us in some strange, unknowing language for me. It was the Twin Towers. Barista turned on the TV and we could not believe what we saw...

Only in a few seconds, everything was changed. And those changes were forever. I still can't believe... I don't think I can accept the fact, that my life is not under my own control. That is not right. My life supposed to be my decisions only. And here I was, facing the truth, that I was wrong, getting the most heartbreaking lesson.

It all got frozen. Hopes and dreams. Time. Hearts of all of us. It was not fear. It was devastation. However, within hours it turned into overwhelming horror.

I don't think there was any possible way to come back to previous World. No possible way to come back to the point, where the axis of this life shifted. There was no way we could even think about going to Europe anymore. No possible way. Even the idea of another continent was way too terrifying.

And so we bought an internal flight for our long-awaited holidays. We flew to Hawaii, instead of meeting his family in Europe. Such a shame, of course. But at least we had a really wonderful time together in this piece of paradise on Earth. Hawaii was our honeymoon, our shelter, our promise, that was never going to be kept.

During our stay in Hawaii, he did not shave. And... Honestly, I don't know why and how did it happen... But we switched tags on our suitcases.

I swear God, I did not mean to put manicure scissors in my luggage. I did not realize it could cause such trouble. I just couldn't see in any way it was coming. I would do anything to come back to that day and just get rid of those scissors. I promise, I would do anything, anything at all..!

He was swarthy, unshaved man in the airport. Not US citizen with scissors in his suitcase, only 2 weeks after 9/11. He was deported from the US in 40 minutes. I never saw him again.

All I've got is his unpacked suitcase in my closet. With my tag on. Otherwise, I would be pretty sure, this story is nothing else, just a really bad dream.