4 | Sigyn

1.02 - Let Me Explain

There was a soft knock from the other side of Sigyn's bedroom door that she ignored. She definitely didn't want to talk to either of her friends and especially not her husband. Despite all that she didn't know, she still felt betrayed by them. Everything they had been through and they didn't tell her that her husband was alive. He himself hadn't come and told her. It felt like they had ripped her heart out of her chest all over again.

She had spent so much time working to be okay after losing Loki for the second time. It was all the harder after thinking she had lost him once before and had told him such before they went to face Malekith. Surely he remembered, surely he would know that she would need to know if he was still alive. That, after having to watch him be killed, she would need to know he was alive. That he wasn't really dead...

He had to know that, right?

A sigh fell from her lips and she held back her tears. She wanted so bad to just open the door and run to him, to hug him and hold him and be held back. It was what she had wanted ever since losing him. But now, faced with the actual possibility of having the option open to her... She couldn't do it. She felt too angry and betrayed.

There was another soft knock on the door, causing another sigh to fall from her lips. "Go away," she said to whoever was on the other side. They simply knocked again. "I don't want to talk to any of you, right now, so just go away."

"Please, I just want to talk."

Sigyn gasped and looked up, seeing what had to be an illusion of Loki standing in her room. Her heart clenched at the sight of him, anger boiling up in her stomach at the same time. No, no, no, this wasn't fair and she definitely wasn't playing this game. Not right now, not after what he did. No way.

"I'm not going to talk to one of your illusions, and I'm not going to talk to you, so just go away. Let Thor raid my fridge and eat my food, I'm not talking to any of you," she told the illusion, waving her hand to make it disappear.

Loki, clearly the one on the other side of the door, knocked again. He didn't say anything, clearly not wanting to say what he wanted to say in front of his friend and brother. She suspected another illusion would pop up any second, and another and another as she dismissed them until she let him in. It was Loki's oldest game. He knew that she would cave and talk to him about whatever was wrong if she saw him, hence why she locked herself away when she was angry at him. Sending illusions in, letting her see him, just helped move the process along much quicker.

She knew his game just as he knew hers. As long as they'd been apart, they had still been married and together for a long time.

"I can explain everything," another illusion said.

"Not well enough," she answered, not looking up and waving her hand to dismiss the illusion.

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

"Too late. You should have thought of that before you faked your death again," she said angrily, eyes pressed tightly closed.

"Please, Sigyn."

A curse slipped from her mouth. He knew her too well. She waved her hand and the door unlatched and swung open enough for him to slip through. He closed the door behind him as he entered. He didn't want an audience and frankly, neither did she. Sigyn didn't look up at her husband once he entered the room, so she didn't know where he was standing.

"I'm sorry," he said in a soft voice.

"Of course you are," she answered, "you were sorry last time, too."

"Let me explain, please," he said.

"I don't want your excuses," she said.

"Sigyn," he said, placing his hands over where they were folded in her lap as he knelt down in front of her so that she could see him.

"Fine," she conceded.

"There is a man who wants me dead," Loki began slowly, "and who has the resources to stop at nothing to be sure that he kills me. But if he believed me to already be dead..."

"You would be safe," Sigyn guessed.

"Yes, exactly! But I couldn't show my face if I had faked my death because that would give it away and word would undoubtedly get back to him about it," he continued.

"But you couldn't have sent a message? Something that only I would have understood? Anything to let me know that you weren't truly dead? I have suffered this pain twice now, Loki, it isn't fair," Sigyn told him, tears gathering in her eyes.

"If you had come back to Asgard with Thor, I would have," Loki said, "I had it all planned out. A private word in our secret spot. I would have revealed myself then. But Thor came back without you, and my plans were foiled. I had no way if sending a message to Midgard, to you, without giving myself away."

"Our secret spot?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

"When your favourite flowers were blooming," he affirmed.

"Oh, Loki," she said softly.

She reached forward with one hand and cupped his cheek before they both leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together and closing their eyes. It was something they had done from the time they were courting and then all through their marriage. It was an act that, though it was intimate, wasn't overly intimate. Both of them had never been the type to want to show off their relationship in all it's intimate glory and this simple act had been a way for them to be intimate in a more public setting without doing something that made them both uncomfortable.

Loki leaned further forward and pressed his lips gently to Sigyn's. Her heart skipped and she gasped. He pulled away as her hand moved from his cheek to the back of his neck. She opened her eyes, looking into those green eyes that she knew so well. It really was him, it really was her Loki, come back to her finally.

"I'm still mad at you," she said.

"I expect nothing less," he answered.