"I'm not gonna lie, I really enjoyed spending time with you and your friends", I said.
Lisa looked at me and smiled "Good, I'm glad you did".
Taehyung had to bounce early for some unknown reason, but all in all everything was going great even if it was just me, the only guy. Before me and Lis left, I got all of her friends numbers and we all started a group chat with each other. So sucks to suck Tae.
We were close to the dorms, we were near the entrance of the dorms, but there was this feeling in me, I didn't want to go inside yet.
"Hey, you kind of just want to sit out here for a bit", I asked.
She looked up to me and smiled "You read my mind".
---------------------------
We sat on one of the benches outside of the dorm near the fountain and a lamplight. It was quiet out since it was around 8 or 9 and the only sounds were the crickets, the wind, and the rarely but few cars passing.
We were so close to each other that our shoulders were touching and our legs almost. Lisa suddenly leaned her head on my shoulder. I was surprised at the sudden contact.
"Do you ever wonder how your parents are doing", Lisa suddenly asked me.
I was surprised by the sudden question "........Yeah, of course I do".
"How----how does that feel", She asked me.
Her questions were catching me off guard. I felt her forehead "Are you tired".
I felt her shoulders move up and down, she chuckled a little "Don't worry, just answer the question".
I cleared my throat of fake phlegm "Well, it's sort of like an empty feeling, like man I wish they were here with me, but than you remember the memories you've had with them, and growing up was so much fun. But than you miss their food that they've made you, you miss their smiles, and their stupid jokes. And you realize that family is so important, than you call them". I say. Which I reminded me, I should probably call my mom tomorrow morning.
"How about you", I asked.
"Why do you want to be a pediatrician", Lisa asked me, dodging the question.
I breathed "Well I told you guys at the bar, didn't I".
"Yeah, but there was something more", She said.
I laughed "How do you know that", I asked.
"Because, there's always something more.", She said.
I smiled a little "My little brother, he was sick a lot when I was younger. One day he got so sick that, um, that his little body couldn't handle it anymore. That feeling of not being able to do anything was so---unexplainable. I remember locking myself up in my room, when he passed, I still to this day have a picture of him in wallet" I got out my wallet and handed her the picture. I forgot how worn out it was though, there were little crinkles around the picture, his face almost ineligible. I guess I just never wanted to part with it, because it's the original.
"He's cute", She said lifting her head from my shoulder. She traced her finger on his cheeks, his nose, and eyes.
I was surprised, no one really looked that closely at my brother before, nor traced his face. It made me smile, that she was actually looking at the picture.
She than looked more closely at the picture, "He has a mole under his chin like you". She said touching my chin where the mole was.
That, I widened my eyes at. "H-how did you see that", I asked. I thought I was the only one who could see that in this picture. Of course Eomma and appa knew.
She smiled "Because he's cute, that's why", she answered.
I laughed and shook my head "That's not a valid answer".
"It is to me", She said "now continue with your story". She handed back my picture
"Your still on about that", I asked, taking the picture back and stuffing it into my wallet.
"Of course, now continue", she put her head on my shoulder once again.
I shook my head, but smiled.
"Well, after doing so, I fell into a kind of depression I suppose. I didn't do things I used to, mind I do say I was fourteen and my brother was six, so it was pretty long ago. But little did I know that little kids were the thing to bring me out of that. My little cousins, I owe it to them. I never thought about having kids, because, well...." I didn't want to tell Lisa about me not wanting a relationship. "I never thought about having kids, but than adoption was introduced to me, so I thought about adopting kids. When I'm older. So I hung out with my younger cousins a lot, babysat, took care of them, I took care of them so much, that they were basically my siblings, and that made me forget about my brother a little bit and when I did that, I felt like such a douche, I still do that to this day. And it still makes me feel horrible". I was silent.
Lisa leaned her head up "No, that doesn't make you an douche if you forget. It makes you a stronger person".
"Forgetting someone", I said.
"No, not forgetting someone, forgetting the pain. You forget the pain, you become stronger when you forget the pain and the darkness. So you don't forget the person, you forget the pain".
I nodded my head. "So to this day, I've devoted everything to being a pediatrician, because of my brother and my cousins".
I looked at Lisa, who looked at me. "I'm sure your brother is really proud of you".
I stared into Lisa's eyes. *click* *click*
My heart beat so fast. Like really really fast, I was getting scared of it . I broke eye contact way too fast.
I cleared fake phlegm from my throat and checked my watch.
"What's your favorite holiday," I bursted out, I than mentally started to slap myself.
It was silent. But than laughter erupted from Lisa's mouth.
"Ummm do you really want to know," she asked.
I nodded my head slowly.
"Okay well, I like Halloween," She answered.
I was honestly flabbergasted by her answer "Halloween, Not even Christmas or Thanksgiving".
She shook her head "I actually hate Christmas".
I gasped "How could you hate Christmas".
She shrugged her shoulder "I don't know, I just do".
Lisa checked her watch.
"Hey it's getting late and I've got class tomorrow, we should head inside now"
I nodded my head.
"Goodnight Lis",
"Goodnight Kook".
We both walked away. But I turned around to look back at her and her fleeting figure. Getting smaller and smaller.
She never looked back.
