Midnight Run

Chapter Nineteen

Everything was not okay.

Nora listened, numbly, as the doctor explained that statistically, three percent of every open heart surgery led to a stroke, but that only one percent of all the surgeries resulted in death on the operating table. The surgeon's eyes were rimmed with red, and the woman sat with Nora and her dad a long time, but Nora barely noticed. Finally, the doctor got to her feet with a sigh and told them to take as much time as they needed in the windowless, private room before she turned and headed back into the hospital.

Alone with her dad, Nora sank back in the hard chair and squeezed her eyes shut. This isn't happening. I must be asleep. But when her eyes fluttered open, the first thing she saw was her father's hunched form beside her. His shoulders were drawn up to his ears, and he was leaning forward, staring blankly at his clasped hands.

Nora fiddled with the small diamond ring on her right hand. Just before going into surgery, her mom had slipped off her wedding ring and handed it to Nora. "Keep this safe for me, sweetie," she'd whispered with a smile and a quick hug. Now, Nora turned the band again and again, not knowing what else to do. She glanced at her dad again, hoping he would take charge of the situation, but he looked like an empty shell, and Nora realized they would both probably sit there forever if one of them didn't say something.

Taking a deep breath, Nora gently touched her dad's hand. He clasped his fingers through hers without looking at her. "Daddy," she finally said, "we need to take care of things."

He nodded slowly, his eyes still staring at nothing. "Marigolds."

Nora looked at him. "What?"

Her dad cleared his throat and finally lifted his eyes to her face. "She loved marigolds. We should—we should make sure there are some at the funeral." His face scrunched up, and silent tears began to stream down his cheeks. Nora's heart cracked as she leaned forward to hug him, but she didn't cry. I can't breakdown yet, she thought as she clung to her father. He needs me to keep it together.

Carl was waiting for them in the hallway outside the private room, and when Nora opened her mouth, he just shook his head and pulled her into a rough hug. She clung to him for a second, but then she glanced back at her dad. His tears had stopped, but he still looked hollowed out, his vacant eyes drifting lazily around the busy hospital without seeing anything. "Dad," she said, "let's go home."

***

The next few days passed in a blur of condolence cards and casseroles. It seemed like everyone in town had stopped by with something for them to eat, and Nora dished everything into single serving containers, labeled it all, and froze most of it. At least Dad won't starve, she thought grimly as she portioned off another pan of lasagna.

There were other things to be dealt with, too, and Nora handled most of them. She didn't want to bother her dad, and since his shell-shocked expression hadn't really changed after they left the hospital, a part of her worried that asking him for help would cause him even more pain. Carl stuck around, and Nora was grateful for his help. She'd never realized how much there was to do to plan for a funeral before.

Funeral. It was such a grim word, such a depressing word. Nora wished they were Irish; then they could just call it a wake and be done with it. Don't the Irish celebrate with food and stories, rather than organ music and a melancholy viewing? Still, Nora wasn't about to rock the boat; she'd found her mom's will in the filing cabinet in the den, and Nora was determined to follow her requests to the letter. That meant an open casket viewing, followed by a funeral and a walk to the grave site the next day.

Carl was the one who suggested she email the running group and ask them to come, but Nora didn't want to impose. Still, she emailed Lynne and let her know what had happened, giving her the date and place of the funeral, but she wasn't really expecting more than a couple of condolence notes from the group. That Friday morning, Nora was surprised to see a clump of familiar faces dressed in somber colors waiting outside the doors to the funeral home when she pulled up with her dad and Carl. Kingston was there, Nora noticed, but even the sight of his face didn't pierce her numbness.