The Broken Can Love Again

chapter 15

Back to Maya's point of view
Not edited

He broke up with me. I can't believe it. Well technically I can. We never really made it official anyway. And I knew if I told him about my past, if I ever showed how vulnerable I am, if i opened up to him and let him see all of me, he wouldn't like it. He would leave because thats what everyone does. People don't know what to do with me. They don't know how to act around me anymore after knowing about all of me and they pity me. That's exactly what Nico did. I can't believe I let this happen. He knows everything about me now and he can tell anyone about me. I don't want people judging me based on what happened in my past.

I hate this. I hate my life. I hate me. Why can't I just be like a normal kid who has a normal family with a normal life? Why did I have to go through all this suffering? Why me?

I thought if I came back to my home town, back to Nico, Fiona, and Manny, who basically used to treat me like family, I might actually have a life again. A new life. A happy life. A life that I want to live for.

But I just messed things up here like I mess things up everywhere else. I thought Nico might actually like me, we even kissed. But he probably kisses girls all the time and it never means anything to him. Why did I think I would mean anything to him? He probably only kissed me out of pity.

I couldn't stop crying. My sobs filled the room. I'm just glad Manny and Fiona aren't home so they wouldn't worry about me.

I've been through so many things that are worse than this, I don't know why I'm even crying over a stupid guy. Maybe I'm crying so much because unlike all the other people that made me feel less than I should Nico was my best friend. And a best friend isn't supposed to make you feel like this. A best friend is supposed to help make this feeling go away, not bring it upon you. But we're not best friends anymore.

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I wake up and see that it's 5:00 am. I guess I cried myself to sleep last night. I still have an hour until I have to get ready for school. I decide to go for a run to clear my mind.

As I'm running nothing goes through my mind except that I have to keep running. Ever since my dad died I started running. It helped me forget how terrible life is. When my mom died and my step dad abused me I had started running more often. It was my only escape from reality. I always wanted to leave and forget everything bad that happened to me, but I couldn't. So instead I ran, it let me forget my reality for a little. I always knew I had to come back to reality but atleast I could forget for a little.

And thats what I was doing right now. Forgetting everything about Nico and how he hates me.

Sry ik this is a rly short chapter but I rly didnt feel like writing anymore and didn't feel the need to. Pls vote, comment, and share.