The Consequence

{3}

Author's Note:

Listen to Wet's [All in vain] and Ruth B's [If this is love] for more feels, enjoy reading!

xoxo

Celes' POV

'Baby? sino yan? come here hug me.' 

'Baby? sino yan? come here hug me.'

'Baby? sino yan? come here hug me.'

Anika's voice echoed inside my head, my mind went blank. I was lost in my own thoughts when I realized that it was Anika with Janine in one bed, lying next to each other. I suddenly felt a pang in my heart, it wasn't anger that I happen to feel. It was pain. 

No energy, I tried lifting myself up. I wanted to go there, but bothering her won't make her choose me over Janine. She was her first choice, her dream girl. 

Way back in highschool, they were really close. Before me, they would do everything together. I was a transferee from an International school, I was so shy and doesn't know how to make any friends. Then Ja approached me. She asked me if I would like to go have lunch with her and Anika. She was so adorable back then, she would always share her strawberry milk with me. She and Ja never left me, they were my bestfriends.

Senior year, nothing much have changed between us. But I've noticed something different about how Anika acts around Janine, she would get jealous about everything and boss Janine around everytime. She gets mad when Ja get sick or when Ja has admirers. I noticed everything because she was the only girl in my sight back then, she makes my day bright and jolly. I would always fetch her at their house and recieve good morning hugs . I was slowly falling for her when she's falling for her bestfriend. 

After graduation, I saw them at the parking lot. Anika was crying, holding Janine's hand. I wanted to grab her out of the scene but they are still talking. I hear them from afar, Anika was saying how much she loves Ja. Janine was leaving for New York and Anika doesn't want her to go, she was so sad and is convincing Ja to not leave the country anymore. 

'Sorry Anika, but I just don't feel the same way about you. You're just a sister to me, nothing more.' Ja said before leaving.

Anika cried, I tried to comfort her and she fell asleep in my arms. I was staring at her, trying to memorize her face's features. 

'I would never leave you, I will show you how you should be loved, the way you should be treated.' I whispered sweetly. 

And here I am after a couple of years, Leaving her. Breaking my promise, I know how hurt she is. But I never thought it would end up like this. Them together? I guess, she wasn't really mine. I had to take care of her, be her temporary convenience. So that she wouldn't feel as lonely as before. Was she even in love with me? Or the idea of me.

I went back home and found 3 bottles of beer inside the refrigerator. I stood there for quite a moment trying to feel the coldness from the inside of the ref. 

I drank the beer I had trouble opening.  Soaked in my tub, I had a sad surround sound. I wanna feel the pain for a moment, I want it to destroy all my emotions. Having to let Anika go gives me so much pain, It wasn't easy at all. But was she really mine to begin with? I asked myself multiple times trying to figure out why having to let her go would hurt this much. 

'Tangina Anika, hindi kita kayang pakawalan. Parang awa mo na, sabihin mo namang tayo nalang ulit, nasasaktan na ko.' I said crying, trying to catch my breath.

I lost life, my world was plain grey. In my remaining days, I fixed everything I'll leave behind. The house, Ma and Enzo. I even went to see dad in the hospital, And the studio. I managed to finish all of it in just 3 days. My flight is tomorrow, I still haven't said goodbye to her properly.

Instead of having to meeti her and hurt myself all over again. I made her a letter.  She likes them a lot, she would kiss me sooo many times for a note. She appreciates small things so much. 

I handed the letter to Manang and immediately left. I hope she reads it. 

Anika's POV

'Maam? May iniwan pong letter si Maam Celestine dito.' Manang said, knocking at my door.

'Sige po pakipatong nalang dyan, andyan pa ba siya?' i asked, I didn't bother facing manang.

'Wala na po, iniwan niya lang yan. Ipabasa ko daw sayo.' Manang said as she closed the door.

Ano nanaman kaya to? Please don't make this harder for the both of us Cel. 

Aalis na siya bukas, alam kong bukas yon. I wanted to send her off pero alam kong may tendency na hindi siya tumuloy. I needed to make sure she flies out of the country tomorrow. I opened the letter. Scared to read it, I signed heavily.

Dear Anika, 

I know how much you liked my letters, You would always tell me that I should be a writer not a photographer. I'm leaving tomorrow, I wanted to see you. But seeing you would hurt me more. I love you so much, My Anika. Alam kong hindi madali sayo to, pero I still need to do this. I'm sorry I broke my promise, will you forgive me? Mahabang paghihintay to pero pwede mo ba kong hintayin? Love I cannot do this with someone else, I can't picture my life without you anymore. But if after a year you still wish to be with her, I'll let you be. Your happiness is my happiness Anika. Dati pa man mas gusto ko nang unahin ka, your happiness matters more to me. And if that means letting you be happy with someone else, then so be it. Masyado kitang mahal para ipagkait sayo yung sayang matagal mong hiningi sa iba. At kung hindi ko man naibigay yon, Love i'm really sorry. But I tried my best to make you happy. I hope you find the happiness and peace you've been looking for I hope you still choose to be you, You're perfect to me.

Until next year, 

Celestine.

I shattered in tears from what I just read, This hurts more than having to pretend I don't love her anymore. Hurting her is death for me, she wanted a future with me and here I am ruining  her wonderful plan for her. But I needed to be strong for the both of us. For her. 

I folded the letter and kept it inside a drawer on my desk, it was my last memory of her before she leaves. 

I was preparing to go to bed when my phone vibrated, it was a voice message from Cel.

'Hi love! Happy Anniversary, I know we just broke up but I just feel like I needed to greet you, Always take care of yourself until you find someone who could take care of you for me. Vitamins and water ok? No heavy meals after 6pm. Morning walks on Thursdays and water our plants every other day. If you happen to miss me, I just want to let you know that i miss you so much too. I love you so much, my angel. Please be well for me, I want you to be happy. Goodbye Anika,'