The Legilamander (Book 1) ~ An Original Harry Potter AU

Chapter 1

B U M P S     A N D     C O U R T E S Y

Darkness. That was all I saw. Engulfing me in the sweetness of silence, I couldn't see anything but the dimness of mystery. Where would this lead me? A fantasy perhaps? Would the silence be filled with the sounds of the words I wished to hear? Or perhaps the words I've already heard? Would I see the familiar surroundings of a memory buried deep in the filing cabinets of my mind? I tried to look through those drawers for the correct folder full of sights and sayings that lay at rest. But each one I looked at didn't seem to ease my head. I gave up eventually, and I opened my eyes to stare up at the low ceiling hanging above me. I felt the sheets over my freshly cleansed body after a nice, hot shower brush against the bare skin that wasn't covered by the thin cotton felt of my pajamas. Warmth filled me, but all I could feel were chills running throughout my arms and legs.

It was one of those uncomfortable nights where I was completely exhausted from the day I experienced and looked forward to nothing but the comfort of my bed. But once I laid down, sleeping was impossible. After a long period of practical teenage labors and other activities, I yearned to be able to drift off into a land of slumber, but I felt agitated and cold. Almost as if something were missing. I could never truly describe this feeling, and this was one of the only ways of phrasing it, but even so, I felt it was never enough to explain this emotion.

"Lord God just help me sleep," I prayed in my mind, merely mouthing the words out loud. And so, I closed my eyes again in an attempt to fall asleep by letting one thought lead to another. I picked a random memory from the back of my mind, letting my eyes roll to the back of my head as they tried to make the scene their own t.v. show. It started working for a few brief moments, and my conscience busied itself with rearranging the words and actions of the film, but I soon felt the same discomforting notion creep into my bones and blood. The memory soon took a turn, walking down a road of cruel anxiety and vexation. It couldn't be controlled. It was a tidal wave that was taking over. No. Someone help. What was I thinking again? Find warmth. Shush. Don't panic. Call out. You'll be alright. Why was I like this? I'm going mentally insane. What were these thoughts and cold feelings? I want out. Help. Someone help. No. You're alone. So then don't just lie there. Was I that weak? I'm not. Do something.

My eyes managed to flicker open, and I turned on my side to face the window by my head, and I breathed a little quicker than before. Looking out at the trees and dark sky beyond the glass, I managed to calm myself a little more, and I sighed in annoyance. This wasn't my first time experiencing it, and I hardly expected it to be my last time, no matter how much I wished for it to be. All I knew was that it was going to be a struggle to get any shut-eye tonight without getting a feeling of unease.

But that didn't mean I shouldn't try. I always kept trying to sleep in situations like these, and usually, after the tenth or twentieth time, I fell into a light sleep that gradually got heavier. And so my eyelids closed once more. I let my memories try to take the lead again. I expected nothing; I just let my thoughts and feelings wander in space. Was that a bit of lightness I felt? I hoped it was. It would be a signal that I was finally drifting away from the real world for the night. I felt myself sink into the mattress, and my head buries itself within the pillow. All was silent. All began to feel good.

My eyes opened once more. I felt a tingle in my stomach. What the hell? Unease again? But there was something different about it this time. I couldn't tell, but I felt scared. Why?

Silence. Pure silence. 

But suddenly a 'thud' echoed against the hardwood floors.

What was that? Did I hear something? What was it? Or... or was I being paranoid again? I looked out the window to check for any form of life. Nothing. I felt my chest pounding with anticipation and concern as I tore my gaze away from the scenery. Just calm down. Don't be worried. God's with you. Right?