I am healing
I think
Every day i get a little bit stronger
And it gets a little easier to breathe
I clung onto pain
Because pain was all i had left
To remind me of better times
But even now the pain fades
And its replaced with some hard iron core
Some wrinkled seed of determination
Moving on
Letting go
Forgetting
I dont really know how one can do any of these without the others
It seems to me that letting go means allowing yourself to accept what has passed
And that what has passed cannot be changed
Its a relinquishing of some painful history
And the turning towards a future which is terrifying in its ambiguity
Nothing is certain
And nothing is promised
But to let go is also to allow things to sink
Into the dark corners of memory
To forget
To an extent
And only then can you move on
Or is it that the things we let go never really let go of us
And they shape us
Guide us
Subtly directing us this way and that
How can we be sure we arent simply made up of all our yesterdays
And all the mistakes we made
Im not sure we can
I am healing
I think
The pain i had clung onto so desperately
Fades like morning mist
Leaving no trace except the glistening dew clinging to the window panes
And without it i am
Forced to face futureward
Wherever you are i hope youre doing well
I will continue to work hard
To become the man i wanted to be
