It doesn’t take me more than a second to realise that Troye is wincing. His eyes fill up with tears and his teeth grind together in an attempt not to cry out. “Zoe!” I yell, sprinting over to pry her off of him, “You’re hurting him!” Her innocent doe eyes widen as I drag her back across the room before she can do anymore damage. Luckily she’s light so I manage to sit her back next to Joe without much struggle. I feel a minor bit of guilt for snapping at her knowing that she didn’t mean any harm but the last thing Troye needs now is more pain. “Are you okay?” I choke out, crawling back over to assess his injuries. “Is anything broken?” He shrugs lightly and then scrunches him face up as if the small movement was unbearable.
“Troye I’m so sorry. If I had known- I was just so glad to see you and…” Zoe cautiously tip toes over avoiding eye contact. Fresh tears are trailing down her face and now that minor guilt, turns into major guilt. After a little consideration she plops down next to me and crosses her legs. “I guess we really needed you back, and I was pretty relieved to see you were.” Troye breathes out a quick huff of air which passes for a laugh, or at least a sign he’s amused. “It’s fine Zoe. It’s not like I haven’t been through worse.” Silence falls over the room and I take the opportunity to tentatively reach my hand out and lay it on his knee. He flinches slightly but then visibly relaxes, loosening his shoulders and letting out a sigh. “Let me guess,” He begins knowingly, “You guys want to know about what ‘worse’ means right?” Three solemn nods reply. “Not want to Troye, need to. We need to know what we’re facing.”
The finality in my tone causes him to roll his eyes. “God Tilly, way to be over dramatic.” He teases, quirking his mouth in a half smile. I stifle a giggle but manage to remain stern. “Stop trying to change the subject, Sivan.” He rolls his eyes again, but this time for an entirely different reason. “All right kids, gather ‘round.” He mocks as we shuffle in on our butts like children at story time. I’m dreading the details but at the same time I’m intrigued to find out what the hell is going on. I have a feeling that Troyes recollection is going to stir up some serious trouble considering all of our group have always been particularly protective over him. “Before I start” He scolds, “I don’t want any interruptions or for any of you to go running out of here with some hero complex to avenge me. Got it?” Joe averts his gaze and Connor fidgets uncomfortably. “I repeat. Got it?” The boys finally back down and mumble their reluctant agreements. “Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Here we go.”
Troyes eyes glaze over as he seems to travel back to the moment before he begins to recite what I can only describe as literal hell. “So, I injured my arm, you guys all remember that part I assume. Probably hard to forget with the whole writhing in agony shit that followed. I thought that was about as bad as things could get. I was locked in some underground dungeon, my friends were in danger and I needed serious medical attention.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before continuing on. “Turns out, I was wrong. Stuff could get a whole lot worse. Next thing I know some creepy ladies are pulling me onto a stretcher and Levis hovering over me all ‘stupid teenagers giving me hassle all the goddamn time’. They took me up like a thousand flights of stairs until we reached this hospital room and that’s where everything went bad.”
He pauses for such a long time I think he’s fallen asleep but he suddenly begins speaking again in one giant rush to get it all out. “Around that time Levi got a phone call from his boss and he explained the situation. His boss started mumbling something on the other end which got him all hyped and gleefully jumping around like the twisted freak he is, turns out, there are some orders Levi doesn’t mind carrying out. These orders are the ones that fuck you up in the worst way possible. It didn’t start off that badly, Levi asked me if I wanted to learn to fight and I said no. Of course it was never really an option and so I ended up learning anyway. At first it was just, ‘Move your hand like this and turn your foot like that- go on- the punch bag can’t feel it!’ but soon Levi started making me fight real people. Oh god I fucking hated it- I- I couldn’t…it was just…they were scared and…”
Troye seems to shut down, his eyes seal closed and he thumps onto the floor slamming his head against the concrete. I hear Zoe screeching beside me and see Joes figure dash forwards to catch his skull before he breaks it but it’s too late. He hits the ground with sickening force. The room is completely silent apart from our ragged breathing. All of our visions are fixated on the crimson liquid pooling around Troyes head. Will it kill him? After all this is that really all it will take? As my train of thought begins down a dangerous track an unnatural occurrence begins taking place. Connor grabs my collar and yanks me back to the other side of the room whilst Joe bundles a hyperventilating Zoe in his arms and follows close behind. In all this time our eyes stay fixated on the Australian boy who we may know less about that we originally thought.
“What th- the- he- hell?” Connor whimpers covering his own eyes. I just shake my head disbelievingly. A few meters from where we stand the gash in Troyes head is healing and his eyes are fluttering open. The blood has hardly begun to soak into the stone where he lay but he’s already regaining consciousness and standing up on wobbling legs. “I guess I better finish the story off quickly.” He laughs sadly, acknowledging our shaking forms.
“Basically I received a shot, some sort of injection every hour. It apparently makes me stronger, heal quicker, have better reflexes and all that fairy-tale bullshit. I don’t know if I fully believe in this miracle drug but I’m not sure how else to explain what just happened. They had to test its effectiveness, sometimes they’d just beat me up amongst other things like setting dogs on me, shooting me with paintball guns and a whole lot of worse ways that you guys don’t need to know about.” Hearing those words leave delicate, angelic Troyes mouth brought me crashing back down to earth.
“So what about your mind? Does it affect your brain too?” He nods grimly as if he’s ashamed, like it’s his fault. “Troye, we’re not scared of you.” I whisper, closing the distance between us. “You can tell us what it does to you, we won’t abandon you.” Zoe, Joe and Connor come to stand next to me, giving him similar sympathetic looks and agreeing with my words. The now blushing boy reaches up and tousles his hair, flexing his newly developed muscles without noticing. “Okay, basically they gave me an unfinished version of the drug. I’m their guinea pig if you will.” Rage floods through me, how dare they! Can’t they recognise he’s someone who doesn’t deserve this? I don’t voice my fury just yet, not wanting to cut him off. “And because it wasn’t finished it has some pretty shitty side effects…” he sighs, averting his gaze and staring at the floor.
“Like…?” Connor prompts, tapping his foot nervously.
Troyes resolve shatters.
“Basically,
I’m going insane.”
