Tough Times (Choni)

Hurting

Warning :⚠️Mentions of self harm ⚠️

Cheryl's P.O.V
After my encounter with Toni, I got Heather's things from her locker, and headed back to the nurse's office. When I got there I asked Heather if she was okay and she said "My left jaw and back hurts badly, but other than that I'm fine".

"Heather I'm so sorry about what happened with Toni, this is all my fault, if o-" my rambling was cut off by Heather putting her finger to my lips and saying "Don't worry this isn't your fault it's Toni's". I was about to say something when the late bell rang meaning I had to get to class fast.

I gathered all my stuff, told Heather I'll see her later, and made my way to my next class. As the day went by, I tried focusing on the lesson but my mind kept on drifting towards Toni. I felt so much guilt inside me for betraying Toni like that.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when the teacher came up to me and slammed her hand on the desk. I looked at the time and realized that school was over. I went to my locker and quickly put my stuff away, to see if I could catch up to Toni before she leaves.

As I was walking to my 1961 Chevy impala which was obviously red, Toni came up to me and said "In case you're wondering I was kidding about what I said in the hallway, and I really don't care that I broke up with you. I'm doing perfectly fine without you in my life".

With that being said she smiled at me and walked to her serpent friend group. I didn't care if she wasn't coming over the only thing that was stuck in my head was "I'm doing perfectly fine without you in my life".

I was on the verge of crying, and no one has ever seen me cry at school, so I quickly entered my car and backed out of the school parking lot. I drove home extremely fast not giving a care in the world about the speed limit.

As soon as I got home, I ran to my room, curled myself into a ball and started crying. As I was crying, I was remembering all those things that my mother had said to me before I kicked her out.

"You are a deviant and loveless child."

"No one will ever love you."

"All you do is break and hurt people, if only you could hurt yourself too."

That last one really got to me. I was hurt on the inside, so I felt that I should make myself hurt on the outside too. I went to the bathroom, locked the door and got a blade from the cabinet.

I sat on the floor and made a small cut on my arm. I thought that it wasn't deep enough, so I made 7 more deeper cuts on my arm, and decided that I was done for now.

I wiped the blade and put it back in the cabinet, making sure to hide it properly. I got a bandage wrap and wrapped my arm so I wouldn't bleed that much. I got out the bathroom and put on black shorts, and a black sweatshirt.

I was about to go and cry myself to sleep even though it's early, when I heard the doorbell. "Who the hell is that" I thought. I left my room, and headed down the stairs to open the door. " Toni?" I asked, not believing it was actually her.

"Hey" she said with a slight smile. "Um what are you doing here" I asked her as I pulled my sleeves down more. "Can I come in first" she asked, looking inside the house, and I nodded my head, moving out the way. She came in and I shut the door behind her.

I watched as she walked into the living room, and I followed her. I watched as she sat down on a couch, and I clasped my hands asking "Again I ask, what are you doing here at my house". "Chill out Cheryl, I just wanted to apologize".

I hummed and said "For what exactly". She rolled her eyes and said "For beating up Heather, but she definitely deserved it".

I walked closer to her and said "You're fucking lucky she only broke her nose and bruised her back. Like what the hell was that Toni. You could've hurt her worse than she is right now".

Toni shrugged and said "She's the girl who you cheated on me with, so like I said before, she deserved it". I chuckled throwing my hands up and said "God you're such a bitch aren't you". "But you still love me don't you" she said with a smirk which made me roll my eyes.

She stood up and then walked closer to me.

"I know you still love me Cheryl, but sadly for you, you can't have me anymore. I'm not yours anymore because you decided to be unfaithful in our fucking relationship. Was it nice having two people all over you because they either loved or liked you. Huh?!".

Her voice sounded more angrier the more she spoke. I backed  up into the wall and winced as pain shot through my back. "You thought it was nice didn't you? I'm back to the serpent scum now aren't I. What if I just-".

She grabbed my wrist and squeezed it, which made me hiss and snatch it away from her. She fake pouted and said "Awww, you don't like my sapphic serpent hands. What a sad rich Northsider".

I bit my lip and looked away from her to stop myself from crying. Toni is the only one who can make me feel hurt, since she is who I love the most out of anyone, and anything bad she says to me makes me feel worthless.

"G-get out" I mumbled, trying to make it sound demanding. I felt blood trickle down my arm and I looked Toni in the eyes. "Get the fuck out of my house Topaz, and don't even think about taking your ass back here again".

She got a text message, read it over, and shoved her phone back in her pocket. She backed away from me and smirked saying "You will always try and get me back Blossom, I just know it. But here's a heads up that I won't be taking you back for a while. See you tomorrow". She blew me a kiss and walked out of my house, which made me let out a sigh of relief.

I looked at my hand, and blood was now dripping down it. I rushed back upstairs to my room, making sure the blood didn't get on my floor. I took off my now bloody sweatshirt and unwrapped the bandage on my arm. I looked at it in disgust and threw it in the garbage.

I searched through the cabinet and found some rubbing alcohol. I took off the cap using my teeth and then poured it all over my arm. I screamed out loud in pain and placed the bottle of rubbing alcohol to bang my hand on the sink.

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out to try not to focus so much on the pain. I poured more and it was the same reaction again, but a little better. I dried my arm with some paper towels and then placed some Neosporin on it.

Damn treating these hurt like a bitch, but while I made the cuts, I actually felt great.

I wrapped my arm up again and cleaned up the mess I made in the bathroom. After placing my sweatshirt in the washer, I decided not to find a new one, and jumped on my bed with just my sweatpants and t-shirt on. I laid my head on my pillow and closed my eyes, thinking of how I could get my TT back.