just poems

Feelings

You reminded me what feelings are

Happiness

Love

You reminded me what butterflies feel like

You made me realizes the difference of the sickening feeling of anxiety that makes your stomach tense and your head spin

You made me realizes the difference of fear that makes you think you need to do things that you don't really need to do

You helped me realize that love makes your heart pound whenever I think about you

You helped me realize that feelings aren't as bad as I thought they were

You helped me realize that not all guys are bad that there are some that will treat you like your a queen not a peasant

You make me happy

A feeling I never thought I would ever feel again

You make me smile whenever your name is mentioned

You make me giggle

Something I haven't done in so so long

You make my heart do flips whenever you say you love me

You give me butterflies whenever you smile at me

When you say you love me I know you mean it

You treat me like I'm fragile like if you make the wrong move or say the wrong thing I'll break

When you touch me it's like how you would touch a deer, with care and steady in case you may startle it

When I say my heart is fragile it's because it's been broken so many times and is stitched up so many times it looks like a science project gone wrong

When I smile you look at me like I am the only thing you see

And I hope that you will be the last person in my life

Cause I don't think my heart can be stitched up any more

I hope when you say I am everything to you, you mean it

I have been hurt so many times that I prepare myself for the worse

I prepare myself for yet another heartbreak

I always hope that the day you say

"We need to talk"

Won't come ever

Cause you hold the most fragile thing in this world

A heart that I thought could never love again

A heart that I never thought would beat again

A heart that for the longest time just stopped working

I have learned that the world is cruel

Cause no one wants a broken girl

No one wants a girl who is so broken that even her smile holds so much pain

No one wants a girl with scars marking her wrist from everytime she felt dead and worthless

No one wants broken merchandise

Or that toy in the very back of the shelf

Or that one toy at the thrift shop that is falling apart and it's arm has been stitched back together

Or that ice cream in the shop that is never touched

No one wants the dust at the bottom of the bag

But when I told you this

You said you did

You said you will love me forever

I give my everything to you

And I just hope you'll see just how fragile I am

Just how broken my eyes show I am

If you read my poems, and lyrics

Like REALLY read them

You'll see that I am crying out for help

Like a kid who lost their mother in the store

Like a cub that is lost in the woods

Like a baby who just fell on their butt from trying to walk for the first time

I am the vase that your grandma always told you not to touch when you were a kid

The heart you hold is the rarest of them all

Cause even though it's broken that doesn't mean it can't be mended up again

And in my eyes I'm may be broken but that makes me limited edition

And in your eyes I'm not broken instead I am perfect

You don't see my flaws or my scars

You see a meadow of flowers that have died and lived a thousand times over

A garden that was left behind to die but you took care of it so it could grow

Yes this world may be fucked up

But that doesn't make the people fucked up

I may call myself dumb but I know I'm not

I may say that I am so broken that I don't know if I can really love anyone or anything again

My music and poems are how I get all my feelings out

So believe me when I say

I love you

With all my heart

I love you

So

So

SO

Much

And nothing in this world can replace you

Or the feelings you give me

And if you leave

Then I'm giving up on trying to love again

I will NEVER love ANYONE ever again