𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 Λ dorbyn [2]

ocho

corbyn didn't feel any stronger the following morning. in fact, he was so exhausted that it took him a while before he could get out of bed. he was very much afraid that if he were stretched any further he would just break.

lounging around all day, however, would be the worst thing he could do. he'd have nothing to occupy him but his own thoughts, nothing to do but give in to the shuddering knowledge that kept pushing at the edges of his consciousness. so he forced himself to get up and go back to campus to work.

he worked all day and mostly succeeded in keeping his mind on the safety of his research. he called to let daniel know he'd be coming home late. he said daniel shouldn't worry about dinner, but the blue eyed boy insisted he'd make something whenever corbyn got home.

since corbyn knew daniel was waiting for him, he left campus at just after eight in the evening, even though he was tempted to work longer. he assumed he'd eventually return to secure mental footing and not have to maneuver around emotional land mines like this. he just needed more time.

soon he'd feel like the person he'd been ever since retiring as an escort.

at the moment, his exhaustion was probably the principal factor in his ridiculous neediness, so he got a cup of coffee on his way home, trying to summon enough energy to spend time with daniel without collapsing into a pitiful wreck.

the younger boy was writing when he arrived, but daniel put his laptop away immediately and went to cut some fresh bread and warm up soup he'd made the day before.

corbyn did his best to make conversation while they ate, but he didn't do a very good job. they kept lapsing into long stretches of silence.

they were silently falling apart.

each time corbyn noticed daniel watching him anxiously, he would rouse himself enough to ask about the novel the blue eyed boy was writing or talk casually about corbyn's research.

but corbyn couldn't sustain any discussion very long though.

it took more focus than he possessed. corbyn was angry with himself as they finished and daniel picked up the dishes.

danielwas worried about him, that much was obvious, and corbyn was the one to blame.

the blonde wanted to give him everything, and instead he'd given him this shit situation.

corbyn breathed deeply to dispel the fog of fatigue and then went to stand behind daniel as the brunet boy rinsed dishes out in the sink. corbyn wrapped both arms around his waist, pushing his front into daniel's back.

"yes?" daniel said, stretching the one word out as a question.

corbyn tilted his head down to kiss the side of his neck. daniel set down the bowl he'd been rinsing, turned off the water, and pulled out of corbyn's arms, turning around so daniel faced him.

daniel's expression was sober as he said, "we're not going to do that again tonight."

"do what?" asked corbyn trying to sound innocent.

"have sex."

defensive anxiety rose up more quickly than normal since corbyn had so few defenses left, but he did his best to keep his voice light. "i thought you were enjoying my excessive horniness."

"of course. to an extent. but there's something not right about it."

corbyn froze, briefly paralyzed at the realization that what he'd always been the best at sex, wasn't something daniel wanted from him.

"i love having sex with you," daniel continued as if corbyn'd actually spoken a reply. "you know i do. but ever since you've gotten back, it's started to feel like it used to... when i was your client."

waves of confusion and fear slammed into corbyn's body. he must have damaged their relationship when all he wanted to do was hold on to it. "what do you mean?" his voice sounded strange, stiff, stilted.

"i mean it feels kind of like it did back then with you completely focused on pleasing me." daniel was talking serious. he didn't like this corbyn.

"what's wrong with that? i want to please you."

the blue eyed boy shook his head, emotion contorting his features. "i mean it feels like your focus is only on pleasing me physically, like you have some mission to accomplish. it's not what we're doing that seems wrong... it's how we're doing it. it's like y-you aren't really there." daniel sounded devastated.

"that's absurd," corbyn objected, sounding angrier than he felt. what he felt was on the verge of cracking. "of course i'm there."

"i'm telling you what it feels like, and i'm not making this up. i've been thinking about it all day. i thought at first it might be... be just me, but it's not. i know i'm not imagining it. it's like you're hiding yourself away somehow... the way you used to when we weren't... when we weren't together."

corbyn froze again when daniel's voice cracked and a tear slipped out of his eye. this was real and this was corbyn's biggest nightmare.

he was loosing daniel.

daniel's shoulders shook with suppressed sobs. "i don't need another orgasm, corbyn. i need you. i need you back with me again."

more tears streamed down daniel's cheeks, and he swiped them away impatiently. and corbyn couldn't stand it. he couldn't stand that he'd hurt daniel when she was the most important thing in his life.

and he couldn't fix it.

he had nothing in him that could fix it. corbyn was breaking for real. breaking right now.

he opened his mouth to speak, to say anything, but no words came out. he felt that deep shuddering inside him, impossible to control now, impossible to stomp out, impossible to deny. he hated it. hated it. he hates that he wasn't the man he had thought he'd become after all.

but the blonde wasn't.

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word count: 1026

sorry for not updating before but now i'm going to focus in this story and finally end it.

please can we talk about the way daniel look at corbyn in this photo.

ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ