What It Takes

Decisions Decisions...

A couple of days had passed, and most was back to normal, well, not really. Steven had texted me a couple of times yesterday, but I ignored them. I haven't had sex since then either, I kept feeling guilty and couldn't really get in the mood.
Brook had been on a date with Joe last night. Yes, my Brook, and Joe as in Joe Perry. I couldn't help but feel jealous, that should be me with Steven.
Wait, what? That shouldn't be me with Steven. No dating. No relationships. No love. No pain.
I kept repeating it over and over in my head - No dating. No relationships. No love. No pain.
That's right. I don't want to date Steven, or anyone.
I was interrupted from my thoughts, when my phone buzzed, signalling a new text message from Steven.
Steven: Why are you ignoring me Hayley?
I sighed, as I locked my phone and placed it back on the bed.
"Just text him back already!" Brook exclaimed, painting my toe nails.
"What?" I asked.
"I know you want to, stop being such a coward and talk to him!" She said.
"I'm not a coward, I just don't want a relationship." I shrugged.
"Because you're a coward! You don't want to get hurt, so you don't want to get involved. Look, I've just finished with your nails now, call Steven over and I'm gonna leave. You don't have to get in a relationship with him, but at least talk to him about it. He deserves to know the truth." She lectured.
"Fine. I guess you're right" I sighed.
"I'll see you." She said.
"Bye whore." I chuckled.
"Bye bitch." She laughed, leaving my room.
I picked up my phone and clicked on Steven's number. I laughed to myself when he picked up on the first ring.
"Hayley, please list-" he began.
"Wanna come round?" I interrupted.
"Yeah! Now?" He asked, seeming shocked.
"Yeah." I replied, smiling to myself.
"I'll be right round! See you soon!" He exclaimed brightly.
"Bye." I smiled, before hanging up the phone.
I picked up my guitar, and started playing and singing, waiting for Steven to arrive.
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The sound of the door bell echoed through the huge house, causing me to jump up and put my guitar on its stand. I got the paper that had some lyrics written down that I had just written about Steven, and put it away in my draw. I straightened up my outfit and fluffed up my hair, before running down the stairs to the front door.
"Hey Steven." I smiled, as I opened the door.
"Hayley." He grinned.
"Err...wanna come in?" I asked.
"Sure." He replied, his smile growing wider on his face.
"We need to talk, Steven." I sighed. "Follow me."
I walked up to my bedroom, and as I told him to, Steven followed. I plopped down on my bed and patted it opposite me, gesturing for him to sit down. He obliged, and looked at me, expectantly.
"I had fun the other night, I really did. But before I go any further, I need to ask you something. Promise you'll answer honestly." I said.
"Me too, and ok, I promise." He replied, waiting.
"What do you think of me?" I asked him.
"What?" He asked back, bewildered.
"Like, errr, do you like me as a friend, as more than a friend, or do you dislike me? And just in general, what do you think of me?" I questioned, gazing into his oh-so-beautiful eyes.
"In all honesty...I think that you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I feel like we really bonded at that diner, and that was a really, really great night. Of course I like you, and as more than a friend. I'd really like to see you more and for you to become...more than just my friend. Howeverrrr, you've been ignoring me and said 'we need to talk', so I don't think you want to." He explained, a look of complete honesty on his face.
He was telling me the truth, and that scared me.
"Steven, I can't. I'm sorry. I would, but love doesn't exist. It's just an image, a belief, a story, a fairy tale. I feel like, well, honestly, I really like you too, but relationships only end in pain and hurt, and...and...I'm scared. I'm absolutely terrified." I sighed, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Hey, hey, don't cry!" He soothed, wiping the tears off my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry." I sobbed, feeling truly bad.
"You don't need to be, because I'm not going to give up on you, ok? I'm going to wait around until you admit you want me back." He announced.
"Don't do that, love doesn't exist. I won't do all that to myself again! I took a vow when I moved over here to America: No dating. No relationships. No love. No pain." I stated.
"You don't always get hurt in relationships, they don't always end badly. And love does exist, I've seen it! My parents are in love! Tom's in love with his wife. People are in love, you see it everywhere, and, using the example of my parents, love can last and doesn't always hurt you. And even if it does eventually, there's the phrase 'It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.' What about your Mum, even though she lost your Dad, she had you as a result of the relationship, so I'm sure she doesn't regret it. Please, just give me one chance, I will never hurt you." Steven begged, his eyes starting to water.
I thought over what he said. It is true, I guess, some love does last. You hear about couples growing old together, about, despite heartbreak, it was worth it all during the relationship. But was the pain at the end really worth it? Just for a bit of fun with some person you're never gonna be with again. I needed time to think, I needed time, some with myself, and some with Brook.
"Ok, maybe sometimes love does exist, but it can also hurt people. Look, I need time to think. I'm sorry, but I'm so scared about it all. I'll think about it and meet up with you again when I've made my decision." I sighed.
I don't know what got into Steven, but he started leaning across to me. I felt my heart beating rapidly, and my breath slowing down. He gently placed his lips onto mine and kissed me. I couldn't help but kiss back. It was absolutely indescribably incredible. I felt like if I opened my eyes, I'd see sparks flying through the air. Electricity was surging through my body, shaking it, changing my perspective on everything.
He pulled away, and I opened my eyes, letting in the light. Steven looked just as shocked as I probably did, probably meaning he felt the electricity and sparks like I did. He quickly regained himself and grinned.
"I'll leave you to think. See you soon." He smirked, before leaving. I just sat there on my bed, speechless and thinking over what had happened.
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It had been one day since I had spoken with Steven, and I thought about it for the rest of the day, and today I'd invited Brook over to discuss. I'd just finished explaining everything to her.
"So, what do you think?" I asked, hoping that her opinion was helpful.
"Go for it." She encouraged. "You'll always regret it if you don't. And yes, maybe he'll hurt you, I highly doubt he will, but it's a possibility. But what if he doesn't? What if you guys fall in love, get married, have children and grow old together, always happy? It's always worth the risk, baby girl. If it does all end badly, I'll be here to help you through it all. And if not, you'll have a life time of happiness."
"Yeah, I guess. Thank you." I smiled.
We talked for a bit longer, and soon she left me to my own thoughts. I sat on my bed, and thought. I thought all day and all evening. I weighed out the pros and cons, played out different scenarios in my head and thought of every possibility.
I thought of everything I could have possibly have thought of for this decision, and eventually took out my phone and dialled.
"Hey Hayley." Steven said nervously, as he answered the phone.
"Hey Steven. Want to get together for some lunch tomorrow at 1pm, at the diner we ate at the first night we met?" I asked.
"Yeah, ok." He replied, not even thinking about it.
"Good." I said. "Because I've made my decision."
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A/N Hey people! Hope you are liking my story so far! Even though there's not many views or anything... . So yeah, please vote, comment etc. And also, please recommend!!
If you are reading this story, then thank you. If you are reading this story, voting, commenting or/and recommending, then thank you very much!
~Becky (:
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