Yearn | Hannigram

reckoning

"How are you feeling Will? You look like you just went somewhere." Hannibal's voice was gritty and his lips were curled at the ends. He had a feline darkness that clung to him, hooked claws and eyes that looked at Will like a bird with a broken wing. 

     "I-How did I get here?" The last thing he remembered was closing the door on Alana and going back to the staircase in his house. It was like one second there was poorly finished hardwood underneath his feet and now they're tucked inside his only dress shoes and tapping anxiously against the soft carpet beneath his seat at Hannibal's office. 

     "You drove here."

      Will sighed and rubbed his head. "I need to go." He was supposed to be cleared of his infection. The fact he was now waking up in amnesia two and a half hours away was not doing much to clear his anxiety. 

      "Will, you've only just gotten here. We need to speak, you cannot avoid me forever."

      "Trust me, I know." Will laughed a bit, taking a second to breathe. 

      "Are you feeling better since you fell ill?"

      "Actually, I am. The last I remember I felt like I was dying...not to be dramatic. But I always feel less out of control when I'm with- when I'm here."

      Hannibal smiled. Predatory. Like some wolf stalking a fawn; a coyote eagerly tracing the fence of a cattle ranch. "How are you feeling in your heart? Are you still conflicted with your guilt?"

      "About Randall? No...I think I'm happy. He was beautiful, Hannibal. The fangs, the claws, everything was so beautiful. He was who he always had been." Will began tearing up, he tried to hide it but he instinctively wiped his eyes dry and Hannibal sunk his teeth in at the first sign of weakness.

      "Do you envy him, Will?"

      "I envy that he always knew the beast he was. I know there's a beast, but I have no name to call it by."

      Hannibal seemed to savor the way those words rolled off Will's tongue. "If you were a beast, Will, what would you be?"

      "The cowardly lion, probably." 

      "William, you are anything but cowardly. You are docile but when you are cornered," Hannibal stood up, prowling towards him. "You have an intensity, a blood thirst. I'd say today, you are a mongoose but what could you be tomorrow?"

      William froze, locking eyes with the man in front of him. Hannibal stood in the center of his office, the light from the window behind him burning around his silhouette like a flaming seraphim. Will gawked at the shadow of his figure as it grew above him into magnificent antlers.

      "I think, William, you could be a predator unlike any other. The heart of a loyal wolf, ferocity of a lion, stubbornness of a bull...but none of those beasts desire what you do."

      A cloud covered the sun, and Hannibal's features refocused and Will felt himself flush, face hot as he tried to hide his embarrassment. "W-What do you think I desire?" Wherever this conversation was going, it most definitely was not professional.

      Hannibal did not miss the way Will's eyes flicked to look down at Hannibal's lips before biting his own. Hiding his gaze from the doctor. Will was an isolated man, he was starved in every sense of the word. Starved for peace, love, touch, self esteem. He had none of them but he lived like he couldn't be bothered to care about the basics of comfortability. Beyond that, the darkness around him keeps anyone trying to feed the stray dog from getting too close. If cornered, he bites. But, even a feral mutt can become a lapdog if trained. However, Will is not exactly lapdog material. Hannibal imagines keeping him muzzled and chained, an attack dog loyal to him and only him. This idea that the dog desires the beast holding the leash, sent chills down Hannibal's spine but he continued as if Will's reaction hadn't shocked him,"I think you desire reckoning, your own evolution, chaos...perhaps even love."

      Will choked quietly, stuttering before asking, "What beast wants to be loved?"

      "All of them, including the most horrifying of them all."

      "People."

      "Exactly." Hannibal smiled. "You are the most human of predators, the most righteous...the people you've killed have all been real beasts." 

     Will stopped for a second. Contemplating the men he's killed, the sons he's taken, the father. The guilt nearly buried him alive, but he never expected the elation once it had faded. The power, holy rage, the dark beauty. The black stag's neck snapping between his hands in pure ecstasy. "I tried to kill you."

      Hannibal hadn't felt anything but proud of Will when he learned the truth; That Will was the guiding hand to his attempted assassination. Hannibal had always known that eventually Will's morals would begin to gray if his reality was no longer black and white either. If he cornered the feral dog, it would bite- but if he cornered Will, empathetic, socially awkward teacher, he would snap. And, not just bite- he'd kill. Hannibal wanted him to enjoy it. He wanted the beast in him hungry no longer. "Yes. You killed me through Randall. Killed Hobbs because you thought him a monster, as well as the rest."

      "When is a monster not a monster, Dr. Lecter?" 

      Hannibal was now hovering over him, Will stood up. He knew what power meant, he knew he had it and he wouldn't let Hannibal make him feel small. Hannibal was taller than him still but Will met his eyes directly. Peering into those black irises raised the hairs on the back of his neck but he didn't hesitate.

     Cutting him off before he could open his mouth Hannibal answered, "When you love it."