I'll Be

Chapter Nineteen: Sawyer and Teddy

I was freezing.

            Halfway there, I lost feeling in my toes. When I turned on to his street, I’d stopped shivering all together. I was so tired, but I kept walking.

            My music was on, and I’d listened through A Lesson in Romantics at least six times. I held Sawyer’s notebook close to my chest, and when I reached his doorstep, I pulled out my phone. I hadn’t realized I’d been crying until he answered.

            “Teddy?” He spoke, voice low and slightly drowsy.

            I could feel myself tremble, “I did a bad thing. A really bad thing.”

            His voice was more awake, quicker “What? Tell me what you did. Where are you?”

            I choked, “I’m standing outside. I…I have to give you something. Please don’t be mad at me.” The tears were frozen to my face; I couldn’t even feel them. God, I should’ve brought another jacket.

            I could see the small light from Sawyer’s phone as he approached the door. I couldn’t even will myself to take a step closer. As he drew it back, I shut my eyes so tightly, I thought I’d explode.

            “Teddy?” Sawyer whispered, “Holy shit. Teddy, get in here.”

            He grabbed my arm, pulled me against him and into the house. When he closed the door, I opened my eyes.

            I let the warm air fill my lungs, and my eyes found Sawyer. I stood, half in shock and half in sadness, my eyes fixed on him. I studied him, burned him into my memory.

            He wasn’t wearing a shirt. It was twenty-two degrees outside, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. But then I remembered I was the one who had walked four miles without a jacket.

            “Sawyer, I’m sorry.” I forced out, and extended the notebook out to him, “I read what you wrote. And I know…I kn-kn-know…” The chills were coming back, and my head started to feel light.

            He took the notebook from my hands, tucking it under his arm before pulling me close.

            “I don’t care.” He said, my mind distracted by how warm he was “I don’t care. We need to get you warm. Come on.”

            He walked me to his room. I stood, closed my eyes and breathed him in; he always smelled like clean laundry and pine trees. When I opened them, he was standing beside me.

            “Teddy.” His voice was soft, so soft, “Teddy, my love, I need to get you out of your clothes. They’re practically frozen to your skin.” I nodded and felt myself smile, lifting my arms up over my head.

            He laughed, pulled my shirt up and off “Good girl. Such a good listener.”

            I giggled, and it made my body feel warm again. He reached, touching my cheek with his fingertips.

            “You’re so warm.” I said, smiling “Always so nice and warm.”

            He pulled me into his arms, my cheek resting on his chest. “My sweet girl.” He whispered, “What were you thinking? It’s twenty degrees outside, and you with no jacket.” He kissed my forehead, and all I wanted to do was fall asleep, just like this.

            I looked up, “I was up, reading your notebook. Reeve gave it to me, and I couldn’t stop myself; I had to know.”

            Sawyer’s eyes were fixed on me, voice low “You talked to Reeve?”