A how-to-list of adulting, made by an adult-in-training who has no idea what in the fresh fuck they're doing.
Seriously, what the hell are taxes?
It is important to note that this book doesn't have the answers for everything. I'm not a psychologist...
Welcome adults-in-training! Is adulthood is a scary concept that is approaching at a shockingly rapid speed? Do you have no idea what the fuck taxes are and how you even do them? Is budgeting a foreign concept and you'd rather just spend money on fruit boxes and crackers? Did nobody actually teach you how to adult so now you're here reading this because you're pretty sure what you're currently doing isn't quite right? Well, then you've come to the right place so sit down, shut up, and enjoy this short novel created by another adult-in-training.
We're learnin' this shit together mates.
In all honesty, adulthood feels like a big fat lie. Ever been told, "when you're an adult, you'll have it all together and you'll know exactly what you're doing!" How many times has that been true? If one of you lucky duckies reading this shot your hand into the air and yelled "ME ME EVERYTHING HAS GONE SMOOTHLY!" then congratulations! I envy your constant success!
Fuck you.
For the rest of you who sat there and questioned when the last time something went right, yeah me too. But hey, that's why we're here. To figure out this giant mess together. Teamwork, am I right?
If you were a special cookie and took psychology (like me, the special snickerdoodle) or if your school forced it down your throat while ignoring your pleas to learn about taxes, you'll remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. That shit is accurate, and it will apply to every damn thing you're going to read. If you weren't a special cookie and your school forced some other unnecessary knowledge you'll never need again down your throat, behold.
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Slather this onto your life like granny does with her Franks Red Hot Sauce.
To sum up the idea of that chart, it's everything a human needs in order to live a lit life. You need your food, water, warmth, and rest (yeah, sleep. A novel concept) in order to gain security, safety, and so on. Complete one part, move onto the next. Get to the top and you're officially a God. Congratulations, enjoy immortality.
Consider that chart the general outline for literally the rest of this half baked book. Consider this your cheat guide to basic adulting. We gonna learn this crap together.
