The Decision

Chapter 1

Lexa was three quarters of the way through an eighteen hour flight from Bangkok to New York. It was strange to think about being in the states again. Six years had passed since she had been sent to Bangkok by her parents to oversee a branch of one of their many businesses. Six years, since she had severed ties with her dearest friends, the people that she had considered her actual family. Six years, since she had broken the heart of her best friend and lover, an amazing woman that she truly loved and hoped that she would one day marry.

Anya: What time does your flight get in?
Lexa: About 11:00am
Anya: Ok. I'll be there.
Lexa: That's not necessary. I've arranged a car.
Lexa: I have a meeting with their lawyers shortly after landing. I'll contact you after.
Anya: Oh. Okay.
Anya: It'll be fine. You know that, right? You'll be fine. Everything will be fine.

Lexa smirked as she stared down at her laptop. Anya was her cousin, her friend and the only person that she had maintained contact with, besides her parents. Her parents...

Less than a week ago Lexa had received the call notifying her of their passing and she still didn't know how to feel about it. On one hand, they were her parents and somehow, she was sure that she must love them. She was supposed to love them, wasn't she? But, on the other hand, they were coldest and cruelest people that she'd even known and they were the reason that she had to leave everything behind. The reason, that she had to leave Clarke.

"Clarke," she whispered to herself, still feeling a familiar ache in her unhealed heart. Extracting a photo from her wallet, Lexa stared down at the pair of them. They were so young and vibrant, so happy and so, undeniably in love, but now that was all gone. Now the only thing between them was time, distance and a hatred that she was quite sure would burn for all eternity. All born of a decision that she shouldn't have had to make, but one that she did, and regardless of the pain in her chest, she knew that it wasn't just the right decision, it was the only decision.

Returning the picture to her wallet and returning her wallet to the breast pocket of her coat Lexa closed her eyes, trying to fend off the random flashes of her last interaction with Clarke and some of the last things her friends had said to her.

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"You can't just leave," Clarke shook her head in disbelief.
"I can and I am," Lexa replied stoically. "My parents need me in Bangkok."
"Your parents don't give a damn about you!" Clarke snapped fiercely. "They barely know anything about you!"
Lexa said nothing, maintaining her emotionless appearance.
"What about us? I need you. I love you. Lexa," Clarke croaked as the tears spilled from her eyes and began streaming down her cheeks "I love you, so fucking much. You said...We said... No! I won't lose you. I can't. I can't!"
"Clarke listen to me, I want you to have a good life. Christ, I want you to have the best life," Lexa kept her tone hard, "but that life – it isn't with me."
"It is! It's always been with you!" Clarke practically screamed. "I don't want anyone else – just you! I don't care how far it is! We'll make it work!"
"I can't say when or if I will ever be back," Lexa said in an even tone, as she walked towards the door. "Even attempting to stay together wouldn't be fair to either of us. We both need to just move on with our lives."
Clarke stepped in her path, her breathing was short and her blue eyes were bloodshot and cloudy. She was so much paler than normal and her body seemed coated in a layer of sweat. She looked sick, so sick. "Please, don't do this."
Lexa felt her eyes gloss slightly, but she set them with determination. "I'm sorry, Clarke." She said softly, and walked out without another word.

Raven: Really, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Bellamy: You said that you wouldn't hurt her.
Lincoln: Bangkok? Lexa, what the hell are you doing?!
Monty: That is just so messed up.
Jasper: You're such an ass!
O: I can't believe that after everything you would do this to her. I know how much she means to you! Everyone know how much you two love each other. You need Clarke, as much as she needs you. Why are you doing this??? Come on, Lexa!