My Partner, Kang Seulgi.

Butterfly

Never have I ever met someone that moved me. Yet, I felt as if I was enthralled by a butterfly like you. Seeing you smile, seeing you move so freely and express yourself on stage. It makes me feel the want to reach out.

But I pulled my hand away from you again and again and again, like a broken record.

You're there but for some reason, I can't reach you, stop.
You, who's like a dream is a butterfly high to me.

"Park Jimin. What the hell are you doing?" A man shouted, the man that millions of people adore is locking himself on a room. Hours have passed with no food and even water yet the sound of music never stopped. The sound of footsteps made by him dancing never did stop.

Every pant was louder than the ones before and groans resonate even outside. It was supposed to be soundproofed but standing too close to the glass door will make it possible to hear what is happening inside. A lot of people are standing, worried outside the room that Park Jimin is locking himself in. "Park Jimin, open this door!" Namjoon shouted, his voice is demanding, fit for a leader.

Yet the door did not budge, but the music did stop. I was standing still, not saying anything, just listening, listening to him. Even when he didn't tell a single thing. I am listening to every groan, every pant, those little things hold out his emotions and frustrations. For dancers like us, it is common to use our body to tell a tale. And now, Jimin was telling us a sad and lonely tale but we can't even see because he chose to hide.

That's why I'm listening to those little details. Maybe his co-members knew that as well, no, not maybe. I know that they knew, I know that. Hoseok was the first one to leave, Hoseok was a great dancer, he lives like us, he tells majestic tales through dancing so I'm sure he knows.

Taehyung was the second one, being his soulmate, you'll probably think that he'll stay until the door opens up, but because he understands Jimin so well that he chose to leave. Jungkook was next, followed by Suga. Jin patted Namjoon's shoulders, they both looked at me.

I smiled and nodded at them before they left. I was alone in the hallways at the time. I sat down and rested my back on the glass door, the coldness of it seeps through my clothes. I was just there, waiting, until I felt the door moved.

I know as well, that Jimin have pressed his back on the glass door, if that door disappeared, we would have been touching, back to back. The first thing that came out of his mouth was something I thought he will ask. "Are they gone?"

"You know that they are always there for you, right?" I asked instead of answering his question. I heard a deep sigh. He didn't speak back so I continued talking."They know and they are willing to help."

"That's right, they are. But, they have their own shadows that haunts them and I'm the only one who was acting up like this." It was my turn to sigh, Jimin was right. They all have their own shadows that haunt them, they grew big. They did not change, that's a fact. But that doesn't mean the environment they walk in did not. The bigger they are, the bigger the platform, the bigger the responsibilities. What's sad is that, maybe, they are only left with the Park Jimin of BTS, so how about Park Jimin himself? Where is he now?

"I think you're brave. It's not "acting up" it's just your way of being Park Jimin. Others might not understand, but they do, I do. So, you don't have to worry on opening this door and letting us see you, no need to worry to show the real you." I pulled my knees up and rested my head on it. I closed my eyes, the truth, the shadows inside of me, I know them. To the Park Jimin who tried to show himself, how could I face him?

For I am hiding my own self to others and yet I was here telling him about it. Maybe that's one of the reason why I fell in love with him. Because he's someone I longed to be, he's someone who showed me. But even when I try so hard to show who Kang Seulgi is, it's always have been Kang Seulgi the performer. I am a deceiver.

"Seulgi, you sound in pain." I laughed at what Jimin said, I was? Maybe. But I was not here to tell about myself, or rather, I will never.

"Park Jimin, your tale, your story awhile ago. I listened to it well, can you show me?" I heard the door opened, I looked up and Jimin was standing there. His shirt was drenched in sweat and he looks tired. I smiled at him and stood up, dragging the plastic bag that Jin gave me awhile ago in hopes of giving it to Jimin.

"Will you show me?"

"I will if you show me who you really are first."