in a year. - pete wentz

entry one.

gardenofeden

update: i graduated ;) [27 Jun 2005|11:12pm]

hey, people! :) as you know, i graduated high school yesterday! as of june 24th, 2005, i am an alumnus of goldwood high school! i have yet to go to any parties or celebrate officially, but i don't really want any of that. keeping myself busy with work is enough for me. my boyfriend's best friend wants me to star in his series of short films, so that's fun. the thing is, i don't know if i can act forever. i have no idea what to do with my life.

maybe things will get better now that i'm out of high school and i'm technically an adult now. there's no more goldwood to tell me how gross i am, how i'm a wannabe- a slutty theatre kid. i've even heard that i'm a dyke. they aren't too far off i guess haha. i spend a lot of time policing other thoughts. their thoughts on ME. i wore wigs and beanies over my hair for four years and i finally get to bounce my curls around now. i like it. and back in high school the only time i could spend being myself was onstage, when i was someone else. depression is a bitch, i'll tell you. dissociation is a bitch, too. maybe things will get better since i'm not a kid anymore. i can make more friends, go out, enjoy life with my boyfriend when i can.

truth is, im scared of the future. all i want is to be an actress. if i don't become one, i guess i'll go into real estate or accounting or some shit like that so i won't end up homeless. jk, i'd go to school for like...photography or something. adulthood is fucking scary, dude. maybe i should have just gone to college. i deferred my entry into chicago u for a year. i'm surprised my mom even agreed to it. i've got work soon, so see ya.

song of the week: konichiwa bitches by robyn