Fake Love (Jaemin X Female Reader)

18. I Feel Sick

(Unedited)

"It's Beomgyu," his charming smile didn't leave his lips once and after he told me his name he winked at me. He...he just...he fucking winked at me! My heart immediately started to beat rapidly in my chest and my feet stopped moving by themselves, planting themselves firmly to the ground. He and his group of friends continued to walk down the hallway, making heads turn as they walked, and my eyes stayed locked on the back of Beomgyu's head.

I wanted to fangirl but my mind told me not to, reminding me that I had a "boyfriend" and I couldn't fangirl over some other cute guy just because he winked at me. I would normally say screw you mind and fangirl anyway but I knew it would be better not to listen to my stupid heart and fangirl in the middle of the hallway.

I turned on my heels and started walking the opposite direction to the five new kids, taking my sweet time and slowly made my way to my second class for the day; math. My absolutely favourite fucking subject!

Can you hear the sarcasm?

By the time I got to the classroom almost all the seats were already filled, but thankfully my seat next to the window was still open. I mentally thank everyone for not taking my usual seat and walked to my seat, sitting down immediately and throwing my bag on the floor next to me.

I didn't go straight to staring out the window like I always did and instead I looked around the room, obviously looking for someone in particular. A frown made its way onto my face when I noticed that he wasn't here yet. My eyes scanned the room once again and also noticed that Mina and her friends weren't here yet either.

I suddenly had a weird feeling burning in the pit of my stomach at the thought that maybe Mina and Jaemin were together, but I quickly shook the thoughts away. There's no way that they would be together, not after what Jaemin told Mina at the café anyway.

My eyes darted towards the door of the classroom when it abruptly opened and Jaemin walked in, followed by his best friend—I think his name is Jeno. I sighed in relief, knowing that he wasn't with Mina somehow it made me feel relieved. The relief didn't stay for long though when I saw Mina and her two side bitches step into the classroom right behind Jaemin and Jeno.

The burning feeling in the pit of my stomach came rushing back and I suddenly felt a heavyweight weighing down on my chest. Why the hell am I feeling like this?

My eyes locked with Jaemin's for a second before I quickly looked away and went to my usual staring out the window. As I stared out the window, the burning feeling in the pit of my stomach seemed to move up to my throat and I suddenly felt the urge to throw up. 

What is up with me today? 

Why do I feel so sick suddenly? I shouldn't be surprised at all to see Jaemin and Mina together. Really, I shouldn't, and I definitely shouldn't be feeling like this just because they are together. I don't have the right to feel like this. Jaemin and I are nothing. We are in a fake relationship and that's it. We aren't friends anymore and this relationship is possibly the fakest relationship I have ever come across. We are literally nothing to each other. 

I can't keep feeling like this. I need to forget whatever it was that Jaemin and I had in the past and start realising that I am nothing more than his way to get revenge on Mina. Without me, he wouldn't be able to get his revenge. That's the only reason why he is even speaking to me. If it wasn't for the packed or whatever he wouldn't even be speaking to me, he would go on with his life and ignore me just like the rest of the student body does. 

I need to get it in my head that he will never feel anything for me, ever. I'm only a prop for him to use however he sees fit to get his revenge on my bitch of a sister. I can't keep having this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach because I don't have the right to have any sort of feelings when it comes to Jaemin. I need to snap out of this fantasy world I live in where the is a slight possibility that Jaemin and I actually have a chance because there is no possibility, and there never will be.