It's Not Me

10-Past Mistakes-10

Jennie was sitting on your couch with Molly on her lap when you came out and once she heard the padding of your feet on your wooden floor, she looked up and gave you a nod while Molly hoped off her lap and scurried off.

"I'll get the tea" you told her softly and you made your way to the kitchen, quickly getting two cups out and preparing the tea as you let your thoughts run rampant.

This would be probably the first time Jennie ever really came to your home, the first time she ever really saw any part of your life despite the years of friendship.

You didn't know why but the thought made you slightly go cold, even a bit upset over it. Rationally, you knew it would be dangerous if she was caught ever going to someone's house like this, even more so since you weren't part of their scene which you tended to forget with how easy going the girls were.

But as you said, they were easing going and while Lisa made an effort to come over with play with Molly while you two talked, and Jisoo came to dress you up at times, and Rose liked to watch you bake, Jennie had never quiet done the same thing.

You had an odd weight on your chest then as you went to the living room and slid the cup into her cold hands, her eyes never leaving you as you sat a seat away from her and turned on the t.v, letting the lull sound fill the silence as you set your own cup down on the coffee table.

Jennie had taken a sip of hers and rested it against her thighs, warming her hand and feeling a peace settling into her.

She'd never quiet felt so relieved from any stress, but she knew that she couldn't hide from it forever.

"I... I'm sorry I came to you" She said finally after a second of silence and you shook your head.

"It's fine, Jen. You're my friend" you spoke softly, questioning to yourself how much of a friend she really was.

"Even after I ignored you? I'm sorry, I just knew you'd be at your shop today and I still came" she said, guilt evident on her face and you sighed.

Really, could you find a reason to hate Jennie simply because your crush on her wasn't working?

No, even if she never came to your house, she always spent hours of work with you when she didn't spend it in the studio.

She still knew of all your troubles and doubts, she would still hold your hand with a stretch of your palm, she still knew of how your nose would twitch if you lied.

Just because she didn't know these things didn't mean anything, she had always done her best to be a good friend.

To be there for you even during your worst.

"Jennie, it's fine really. You know you can come to me with the problems, I can't turn my head away when you were always there for mine" you responded, giving her a soft look as she continued to make herself smaller on the couch.

"If you really feel bad about not knowing these things, I'll tell you right now, when I got them the only thing going through my mind was that I'd look cooler and that's mostly what stopped me from crying when getting the tattoo"

She let out a giggle at that, figure losing tension and she leaned a bit more as you have her a smile and looked down at your hands.

"Afterwards I really liked them and I guess I just let my body become a canvas. The motorcycle was also pretty freeing, I like the wind in my hair despite how cheesy it sounds" you said and she nodded, looking up at you with interest.

"When did you get them?" She asked and you hummed at that, cringing slightly at the memory.

"Ah, I was a troubled teenager who was angry at my parents for not accepted me for how I was." You said and she raised an eyebrow at this as you gave her a reassuring smile.