Can't Be saved

            I sat there on the patio, thinking about how excruciating and puzzling life could be. Small drops of liquid were dropping from the gutters of the house. Last night’s rain was still visible. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small green and white box, opened it and pulled one of the cancer sticks inside. I put the stick to my mouth, pulled out my lighter and lit it. Inhaling the deadly fumes, I sighed.

The cool wind made its way gently through the branches on the naked trees, and the few leaves left on the trees broke off, swaying slowly to the cold ground. The grass not green but not brown with frosted tips, and the sky was almost pitch black with light dots in the sky other known as stars. Yeah, tonight was peaceful, calm, yet depressing. Come to think of it my life was always depressing ever since my mom left me with the Devil.

            My life was different from a few other people. I leaned back in the lounge chair that took up half of the walkway on the patio and closed my eyes. I lifted the cigarette back up to my abnormally colored lips, Inhaled once again, taking all the toxic smoke in my lungs and I exhaled.

            When my mom left, I was about 7 years old. But, I know for a fact that she had left for a good reason. My father… The day he got fired from his job because he made one mistake is the day he decided to take control of the house. He would beat my mom, yell at her, and threaten her. When I’d see him do this, I thought every guy was like this so I stayed away from them.

            When my mom finally got away she just left me behind. But the night that she left, she came to my room and kissed my forehead and told me that she was sorry. I never had seen her since then. At times I’d say to myself that I’d hate my mother because she didn’t take me with her. But my dad never beat me the way he beat my mom, till now.

            I looked up at the Moon; moonlight seemed like it only shone on my front porch. I smiled, enjoying the vibe from the moonlight. I closed my eyes till I felt a presence join me. I opened my eyes to see a dark shadow before me.

            “Why are you out here? And you’re smoking but yet you’re only 16. Put that shit out and get inside, you can catch a cold by sitting out here and I don’t have time to be taking care of a sick child.” A Husky voice spoke to me. “Plus you have school tomorrow, Go to bed its late.” I looked up and put the cigarette back in my mouth, inhaling once again and I chuckled. “You can’t catch a cold by sitting out in the cold… You….” “I Know you can’t catch a fucking cold by just sitting out in the cold, What I want you to do is get your ass inside! I’m tired of repeating myself to you three to four times!” He walked pass me into the house. I sighed.

            “I’m fucking 16 I don’t need a guy who doesn’t even know how to take care of  himself, to take care of me. I can do that on my own.” I mumbled to myself.

            Putting the cigarette back in my mouth, I closed my eyes. I tried to inhale again but I noticed something, my cigarette wasn’t in my mouth no more. My eyes shot open when I felt my hair being pulled. “STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING” I yelled to my dad. He dragged me into the house. I tripped and fell to the floor, but he still kept pulling my hair. He dragged me across the floor, down the hallway to my room.

            Throwing me in my room, he said “Go to sleep…” and slammed the door. I wiped the tears of my now reddish tan face. “Ugh! My God, I HATE YOU!!” I screamed to the top of my lungs. “LIKE I CARE!” He yelled back. I groaned and got up off the floor. I walked to my dresser which had a mirror in front of it and tried to take the tangles that he had put in my hair.

            “Fuck it…” I said to myself. I took my clothes off and put on a tank top and shorts, then flopped down on my bed. A whole new school year started tomorrow and I’m going to be a junior… another year of hell.