35 | The Damn Notes

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Ezra POV

After my talk with Rainer yesterday I couldn't stop thinking about her. I made a promise to see her first thing this morning. I'm such a terrible friend for not checking on her. And the fact that Rainer has to come and tell me, worries the shit out of me.

In a blink of an eye I see Zaya walk right passed me without any acknowledgement.

"Zaya."

She never stopped.

"Zaya!" I turn around to watch her walk away. "Damn it cousin." I started to speed walk after her.

"Zaya Ford stop right now!" I grab a hold of her hand to spin her around.

"What!" She hissed.

My eyes widen, "First of all loose the attitude, I'm not feeling it. And B, why didn't you tell me you were hurting?"

She rips her hand away. "I'm fine, Ezra. Just fuck off."

"Look at me, Zaya." I search for her eyes but she kept looking away. "Look. At. Me. Damn it."

When I finally met with her emotionless eyes my heart began to ache.

"He's right, you are hurting." I breathe out.

"Who's right? Who told- you know what? Never mind, I don't care." She began to walk away once again.

"Zaya stop!" I say following down an empty hall. "Fucking bitch." I mutter to myself as I stopped in my tracks.

Then it hit me.

"WAFFLES!"

She makes an erupt stop before turning around.

"You can't do that!" She scolds.

"I just did... WAFFLES!" I shout again.

She rolls her eyes while crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry but you left me no choice but to call it."

Waffles was our stuffed dog we won at the carnival when we were kids. We had days where we switched off. We loved it like it was a real dog. Whenever we would be scared or hurt we had Waffles by our side.

As we grew up we used Waffles name as a call out. When would withhold the truth, or be stubborn and run, or lie. One of us would call Waffles. No more lies, no more running, no way out.

I just wished I used it sooner.

"Are you fine yes or no?" I ask bluntly.

She crosses her arms, "I don't know."

"Why not? Is it because you don't care?" I question again.

"I don't care." She responds coldly. Which hurt me inside. It pains me to see her respond so easily. What makes it more unbearable is that she's telling the truth.

"Zaya..." I start.

She shakes her head, "I have a lot to figure out, Ez."

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry Rainer had to come and tell me that you're hurting. I'm a fucking terrible cousin and you deserve better. Just please, don't shut me out." I plead and for a second her eyes were filled with compassion. But soon faded into an abyss.

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