Bad nights

That First Night

        This is one of the few times I can clearly recall what happend despite how drunk I was; the first night I let any of this happen.

        The night had already been going bad. My boyfriend and i were fighting through text messages. He was upset with me because i wanted to stay the night with my girlfriends and he was jelouse. I had started crying because he was threatning to take his life again. There are plenty of times he had said he would just to get my attention, but that night i took him so serious. In the end, i called my parents and had them take me to his house. They were going to make me break up with him after we made sure his parents knew what he had been threatening. Never before had I been so afraid.

        We got to his house but his parents weren't home. Only his younger brother. My boyfriend opend the door, surprise etched on his tear stained face. He hadn't believed i was actually coming over. He should have.

        After a beat of awkward silence, he let my parents in. Only my mom actually went inside. They started explaining why we were there because i couldn't speak. He started pleading with them, saying he was sorry, that he just wanted me to pay attention to him and whta he was saying. That he didn't mean to hurt me or scare me like this. I broke down crying on the sidewalk in from of his house, and they all watched me cry. My mother explained that i couldn't do it anymore, that being with him was becoming too hard.

        After that, we waited for his parents to come home and told them what had happend and that we were still worried. His mother yelled at us both, calling us fools.

        Finally, we left his house behind. The entire car ride i couldn't stop crying. My parents asked if i still wanted to stay the night with my friends and i said yes, i really didnt want ot stay at home to cry, besides i knew what i could find at their house.

        At my friends house, i styaed up with the girls explaining what happend. Then we all curled up to go to sleep. I wasn't tired though, and i knew what i would find downstairs. 

        Benjamin and Ryan were there. Already drinking. When i asked to join, they seemed a little surprised, but let me anyways. I guess they would tell i needed it. 

        i sat there and drank just as much as them, listening to their conversations.