Captivating

Chapter Two

College is not nearly as scary as I thought. But it is nothing if not difficult and draining. I'm still adjusting to the change and comprehending everything around me. Everything is so new, and I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by change, overwhelmed by the familiar pain, and overwhelmed by my thoughts. I sulked to my next class, dragging my already-heavy-bag with me. I lugged it to a desk by the left wall which was mostly taken up by a window. A window that shows the constant busy movement of everyday life, while still capturing the hellish peace Vancouver embodies.
Bodies poured into the classroom and filled up the seats, one by one. I focused my attention on the reassuring and continuous cycle of life outside the window. It was reassuring but also kind of shattering to know that life does not stop for anything. I interpret this as: we can't just stop. We cant choose everything that happens to us in life. You must go with the flow of life, and adjust to it. Because if you do not adjust to it, it will leave you behind. And it will either pass in painfully slow motion, or rush in a regretful pace. But all in all; we all must adapt to the same things. Life and by that degree; also to time. There are no exceptions, and under this circumstance, it reminds me we are all the same and equal. And despite how others treat me, I am nothing less.  This is sadly a reassurance I often need. I felt someone sit in the only desk directly next to me and distract me from my thoughts.
"Hey, I'm Mark. It's alright if I sit here, right?" He smiled politely. I nodded and smiled simply. He tapped on his desk awkwardly. "So... do you have a name?" He chuckled. I tried hard not to cringe in his face. Awkwardness is so... dumb. It's a concept that we created because we're shy and selfish creatures. I don't think we should be so timid. It's ill mannered, and simply a waste of time. I know some people "can't help it" but only to a degree. Seriously, can we stop justifying everything we do?
"Yoonah Jeon. Nice to meet you."
"Where are you from?"
"I lived in Korea when I was younger, but I was mostly raised here. I don't remember it very well. I'd love to visit though." I said kind of sadly.
"Wow, that's cool. I have a lot of family there, but I've never been. I really want to go though. Maybe one day." Mark smiled sadly and focus his attention at the front of the class.
The lecture seemed to last forever. I assumed that I would just zone out during the lecture as I typically do, but for some reason, I can't. And by some reason, I mean Mark. My gosh, hes beautiful. I know it's shallow to say, but I could fall for this kid on his looks alone. He was really mesmerizing. I had to restrain myself from staring at him for the better part of the class. So instead, I sufficed with occasional and harmless peeps over at him. I think he only caught me a few times. His entire being was so captivating. His mannerisms, simply the way he sat there. At the end of class, during my last peep for the day, he returned my gaze. I smiled innocently, as did he. Ohhh I just want to pinch his cheeks and KISS HIM. Oh my gosh, Yoonah you don't even know this kid. Calm down. What's happening to me, I never like people this easily?
"See you, Yoonah." Mark said and left the classroom.
"See you..." I trailed off as I watched him leave. It was like there was a spell on me, and as soon as I couldn't see him anymore, it lifted.
Oh, just what in the HELL was that?
I picked up my things and put them in my bag, still wondering why I was so struck. I rushed out of the classroom and into a busy hallway full of anxious students and coffee-driven teachers. This reminded me of that same concept- life will not stop for you. I have no time to allow myself to get caught up in my thoughts about something as childish as a boy. This is life. You've got you and you only. So I should focus on that. Especially school. I don't need any distractions from my future. I want to be successful, and I refuse to let anything get in my way.