You won't Say it, Will You? (Zarry)

Don't Say You Won't II

It wasn't easy is the thing. It's never easy. They were too fucked up. One moment they would fight and rip each other and the next they would be kissing each other like there's no tomorrow.

It fucked both of them, fucked them until there were no pieces left for them to put back together.

Zayn remembers doing it then, making a move. They both needed help and space. Zayn did it, one evening before Harry came back from his classes, Zayn had his bags packed.
He cried in their bedroom for three hours, cried and cried until he heard Harry.

Harry knew it was coming, they weren't going to make it, he knew it. But he still pushed and pulled Zayn, begging him to stay, begging him to say something, but Zayn just cried.
Harry cried too then, his head tucked into Zayn's chest, he cried and cried.
"I loved you so much Harry." Zayn whispered and left.

-

So when Harry looks at him with tears in his eyes, pleading him to come back, Zayn thinks of the night he left.

They both took help, saw therapists, had sessions and gave each other space. Harry texts him and Zayn does too, but none of them dares to cross a line. Zayn comes to meet Harry, sometimes, and leaves before any one of them breaks and crumbles.

Zayn knows he can't stay, they aren't good for each other. All they do is rip each other apart, rip each other until there's nothing left of them.

He shakes his head, he can not stay.
"I can't Harry, you know I can't. I shouldn't." Zayn keeps on shaking his head.

Zayn doesn't even register it and Harry's on his lap in the next moment.

Harry's trembling fingers travel over Zayn's cheeks slowly, until they reach his jaw and Harry holds them there.

Zayn looks up at Harry, and Harry knows he's winning. Zayn's crying too.

"Please Zayn, I want you so much. Please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I promise I won't act like an asshole anymore. I promise." Harry cries.

Zayn shakes his head again, defeated and tired.

"I won't break your heart Zayn." Zayn looks up. "I won't." Harry whispers against his lips and kisses him.

Harry kisses him with everything in him, every fibre of his being, every beat of his heart, he kisses and kisses Zayn until Zayn pants loud.
Harry pulls away to let Zayn breathe, but Zayn cries instead, a loud cry, and he hugs Harry, tight and close, and cries harder.

Harry breaks then, he kisses Zayn's hair and cries.

Zayn looks up at him then and Harry's torn at what he sees.

Dull and lifeless, Zayn's eyes don't twinkle at him anymore, his eyes are red and dark.

He did that to Zayn. They did that to each other.

Zayn keeps crying, holding Harry's t-shirt tight in his hands.

Harry slowly removes Zayn's hands, Zayn panics and fists his t-shirt again, pulls Harry closer and looks at him, tears still flowing.

Fight for me Harry, fight for us, tell me we'll be okay. Tell me! Tell me we'll make it.

"I can't do this Zayn."

I can't break you.

Zayn stills at that, he looks at Harry and he gets it, he knows it. So he nods and loosens his grip on Harry.

Harry gets up and walks to the door and Zayn follows him.

Harry opens the door for Zayn and Zayn looks at him, pleading eyes, and when Harry doesn't look up from the floor, Zayn leaves.

Harry closes the door and slides on the floor.

"I loved you so much Zayn."