𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒚 - z.s.

𝖔𝖓𝖊

Zayn

I wake up sweaty and overwhelmed in my bed. This dream is driving me crazy. That I have to see it today makes it even worse. It's Wednesday, 25th March 2021. Exactly 6 years ago I left One Direction. And right now I see such a dream. You wonder what I saw?
Well...

It was the day One Direction was formed, the 23rd July 2010. I can't explain why of all the days I had to dream of such a thing today. All four boys were crying because they thought they will be sent back home. Their sights were making me tear up, I didn't want them to be sad.I walked over to every single one of them and told the boys to stop crying because I knew we won't be sent back home. They thought I was crazy and didn't believe me, of course. But right in that moment we were called to the stage, and just like I told them, Simon put us together in a band. "I told you!", I screamed and we hugged. Everyone was happy, no problems, no bad feelings, nothing could've ruined that moment we had. It just was so surreal, as if it was a dream.

(i mean it actually was a dream)

I wasn't only crying in my dream, but in real life too. I was sitting on my bed, sobbing like a little child that hurt their knee and now cry because of the pain. After forcing myself to stop crying, I try to calm down and wipe away the tears with my t-shirt.

What's gotten into me?

I stand up and go to the bathroom to wash my face. My thoughts were still surrounded by the dream earlier. Can't I just have a normal morning as always? I should be excited! Didn't I release my first ever Solo Album "Mind Of Mine" exactly 5 years ago? That's what I should be thinking of!

After Khai, my daughter, was born I decided to take a little break from writing songs and posting on Social Media at all. I wanted to spent as much time with my daughter and Gigi. But Gigi and I got into a fight about me smoking too much. I told her multiple times I couldn't stop, I've tried many times without success. That fight went into a different direction and ended with us breaking up. Again. Since then I live back in my apartment in New York.

In January I released my first single "Vibez" of this album that I've been working on a while now. But I only wrote and finished a few songs. I don't even have a name for the album. For now it'll do Z3.

That day I asked my fans on Instagram to choose a day which I would post on every week. It ended up being on Wednesday, so I would post a selfie every Wednesday morning. But I didn't feel like it today and I probably look all sad and shit. I was scared of people noticing my still red eyes. It would cause unnecessary drama and there would be articles saying "Zayn Malik, 28, posted a selfie of himself, eyes swollen from crying. What happened?". I can see them writing that Gigi and I might have broken up. No one knows yet, and I don't want anyone to know anyways. People have been speculating this already, but I don't want anyone to think I cried because we broke up.

I'm kinda getting hungry so I go downstairs to the kitchen and make myself a simple sandwiches, which I only eat half of it. I was already full and this was concerning, even to me, but I just shrug it off. I fill the coffee machine with fresh water to make myself a cup of coffee. I pour the hot liquid into the cup and take it with me while walking over to my couch. After thinking about what I could do, I take the remote and turn the TV on. I am in a mood of watching my favorite Rick & Morty Episode on Netflix. Season 2, Episode 5.

Something I like to do while watching TV is sketching randoms things that inspire me. So when the scene with the giant heads came up, I stopped the episode and took my sketching book. I draw different looking heads all over the new page. For some reason I couldn't stop to even take a sip of my cup of coffee. When I was done and satisfied I took my phone into my hand and thought "Why not post this in my story instead of a selfie this time?". I hope anyone would notice, that I'm not 100% alright. 'Cause I promised to my fans, I would post a selfie every Wednesday and I did this every time but this time I won't.

I take a picture of the page and post it on Instagram. It's just a little sneak peek of something I will be working on soon.

Later that day I go on Instagram to see if anyone has noticed anything but no. Everyone is talking about how "talented" and "amazayn" I am. To be honest, I am kinda disappointed. But why would anyone think I'm sad? And why am I sad in the first place?

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I can't believe that I am actually posting this! I hope you liked this chapter! I would be really thankful if y'all could tell me in the comments how this chapter was and don't forget to vote.

All the love,

Yaggi ❤