Numb;

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A raw emotion, that most people don't feel.
Everyone can feel their anger,
sadness,
hurt,
happiness
pure joy.
But for me I don't feel those anymore.
I don't feel those long nights of staying up, crying yourself to sleep.
I don't feel those tears that are nonstop.
I don't feel those muted, muffled noises of holding back what you feel with your entire being.
I don't feel those butterflies of being around you,
touching you,
kissing you,
holding you.
I only feel numb.
I only feel that raw emotion of nothing at all.
Emptiness.
Being whole is a forever faded feeling.
I will never have a chance to feel that once again.
It has been beaten, broken, and ripped out of me

You look at the face of thousands of people and say to yourself, "Fuck. If only you knew. And I hope you don't."
How are you suppose to have a complete conversation with someone who can feel all these different things, while you feel nothing. They can put themselves into something whole heartily and you not giving a shit less about it.

But in the end. I hold my coffee in one hand. And a cigarette in the other and think to myself,
"One day it will go away. But for now it is just another day." 

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