I AM A KILLER

Who are you?

“What are television and novels?” Qin Ke Xuan was puzzled, and the force of her grip loosened.

Yin Xu Dong gagged, “Cough cough cough! The heck! What the hell was that? All I’m asking is for you to teach me some moves, do you need to go as far as murdering me? Cough cough cough, I swear I’ll freaking die in your hands sooner or later!”

Qin Ke Xuan: “Put a sock in it with your nonsense. Explain, properly. From what television or novel did you hear about the rules of the Pugilistic Realm and the Martial Arts?”

Yin Xu Dong was so depressed he had the sudden urge to bang the wall, except that he was unable to move his body, “Da jie*, there are countless television and novels about it, how the heck am I supposed to remember all of them? Like Jin Yong** and Liang Yu Sheng**, but those are all fictional. No one actually takes them for real. ”

* Da Jie = 大姐; big sister. Yin Xu Dong is using the term “big sis” to highlight his exasperation, similar to saying “dude/bro/mate” when you’re frustrated and exasperated with someone, except with a gender reference.

**Jin Yong and Liang Yu Sheng are famous Chinese Wuxia novel authors.

“Jin Yong?” She did not know him.

“My shit! If I hadn’t witnessed your Xiao Li Flying Daggers and Sunflower Dian Xue Hand personally, I’d really believe these martial arts moves were completely made-up by the (very OP) authors.”

Qin Ke Xuan quietly collated the information, not replying him.

Yin Xu Dong continued pitter-pattering on a huge lot about it, only to realise the other party was not even listening. At that, he pursed his lips crestfallenly, “Oi, Qin Ke Xuan, hurry undo the acupuncture, I can already feel my body numbing.”

Qin Ke Xuan swept a disdainful look in his direction, “You can’t even handle this, and you want to learn martial arts?”

Upon hearing this, Yin Xu Dong’s eyes lit up, and he asked excitedly: “You, are you saying you’ll take me as your disciple? Oh yeah! Honoured shi fu*, allow me to pay my respect.”

*Shi Fu = 师父; (ancient) master/teacher

Qin Ke Xuan cast a sidelong glance at the paralysed Yin Xu Dong on the ground, saying leisurely: “You want to become my disciple? Simple.”

“How? How? No matter what you need me to do, I’ll do it!” Yin Xu Dong replied excitedly.

“My condition is that you shall do everything I ask of you to do, else…”

“Else what?”

“I will kill you.”

“…”

Yin Xu Dong’s enthusiasm was quickly extinguished. He had properly observed Qin Ke Xuan, and he could tell from her expressionless face that she was being serious. Moreover, after the few recent interactions with her, he was clear that Qin Ke Xuan was not joking around. That girl ain’t kidding!

“… it’s illegal to kill someone.” Yin Xu Dong swallowed.

“So?”