Sacrifice

chapter 4 || Penelope

As I sit on the closed toilet,I wipe my tears with a tissue and I take deep breaths. Why am I so stupid? Why did I do that in front of him?I know why,but I shouldn't have done it. I exit the little restroom and I look at my reflection in the mirror: my eyes are red and swollen. I wash my face with some water,thank you waterproof mascara,and I get out.

As I walk out of the door I immediately see Shawn standing with his right shoulder on the wall outside the bathroom. I put my hand on my chest since he actually scared me and he giggles. I stop and look at him. He doesn't talk. He only takes my left hand and he leads me outside the building to his car. We both buckle up and then he turns at me.

"You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to. I'm taking you somewhere special." I slowly nod as he places an hand on my thigh. He leaves it there during the whole time until we pull over. I can see from the window a really little and secluded beach. It's a really beautiful place: the waves resound in the air as a blast of wind ruffles my hair. I look over him. His dark hair covering the side of his face and his hazel eyes lighting up as the sunshine hits his irises.

He puts a hand on my lower back whilst he guides me through this calm landscape. When we are really close to the water,he sits on the sand while he taps with his hand the place next to him. I sit down there and I look at the horizon. We both stay in silence for 5 minutes or so,then I start

"I'm sorry for my reaction,and I think you need an explanation otherwise you'll think I'm crazy." I swallow what seems to be a liter of saliva and he turns over to me.

"When I was in high school I was with this guy: at the beginning everything was amazing,as usual,but then things started to get tricky. He started to threaten me and,one day,he abused me. He kept doing that over and over,and I didn't tell anyone as I was too scared". I stop and I take a deep breath. I can feel my eyes burning but I don't want to cry. Again. In front of him.

"Oh..." he comments while looking at me with saddened eyes.

"Back to the pinch thing: he used to pinch my side when he wanted to fuck me. Well,let me correct:rape me.It was a sick relationship and I'm aware of it,but I just couldn't tell anyone. I wasn't strong enough. So,when you pinched me,I know you were trying to do something funny,but it brought back so many memories and I felt like he was there with me again."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I wouldn't have done it if I knew. I don't know how you handled everything by yourself. So don't ever say again that you are not strong. Got it?". He caresses my cheek while a tear falls from my right eye,and he wipes it.

He gets closer and puts is arm over my shoulders. The feeling of his touch,the atmosphere,the sounds that frame this scene make me want to stop time. I want this to last forever. I lay my head on his shoulder as he kisses my head.

We spent the afternoon there,but then we came home. We both kick off our shoes as the sand from the beach falls on the parquet. He then heads to the kitchen to make some tea and,as the acute sound of the kettle captures my attention,I head to the kitchen too.Right when he start to drink,Shawn's phone rings.

"Hey man!" he greets "Yeah for sure. At what time? Ok ok,see you there." and then he hangs up. "Guess we're going to a party tonight" he tells me "We? I'm not in the mood..." I reply. "Oh come one! You'll have fun. It's at 9. At Scott's.You've never been to a party with me,and the after party is even better,believe me" he winks at me. "Ok I'll come,but I'm definitely going to pass the after party part" "Suit yourself" he ends.

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I stare into my mirror trying to figure out if I like my outfit or not: I'm wearing a red thigh backless dress,with a pair of black stilettos. A golden necklace decorates my cleavage and my hair is up in an high ponytail. As I lean to fix my dress,Shawn slaps my ass "You bastard!" I yell even tho I can't avoid giggling. "What? It was there,almost praying for a good spank " he lick is bottom lip "Let's go gorgeous".

We exit the flat and,when we get in the car,he puts on some pretty good music. We both sing loudly until we arrive and he lowers the volume. While we make our way to Scott's house,he surrounds my waist with his strong arm,and I'm actually not that disappointed.

As we enter,the smell of alcohol and weed overwhelms me,but I keep walking with him by my side. It's a very big place,modern and really tidy for a boy. There's an open space with a large kitchen and a grey toned living room,and a staircase on the left that probably leads to the bedrooms. "Hey you two!" Jack says "Look who's here" Scott adds. I gently smile while Shawn greets them. "Would this lady like a drink?" Scott offers "Oh yes please" I agree with his idea. He prepares me some kind of mix with vodka,gin and other stuff. As I try it,I'm shocked by the powerful and amazing taste of it and my eyes widen. "This is some pretty good stuff" I yell to make sure he hears me over the extremely loud music.

Shawn takes a can of beer from the fridge: I suppose they're really close since he serves himself. Then the music stops and Jack suggests to play «truth or dare». Of course. We form a circle on his black rug. "I start!" a boy that I don't know screams "Jack,truth or dare?" "Dare duh!" he immediately answers. "I dare you to finish the vodka bottle". Every one starts cheering as he chugs it and finishes it. I bet he's not going to feel as great as tonight tomorrow morning. In the meantime I keep drinking,and I'm already at my second drink of the night.

Then it's Jack's turn: he asks Shawn what he wants to choose,and he replies with dare too. "Oook. I see you brought your hot roommate with you. Why don't you make out for 1 minute? Would it be the first time?" he laughs as I panic. But Shawn quietly stands up and offers me his hand. I stan up too and,after a few seconds,he holds my face with both his hands and starts to kiss me.

This kiss is different from the first one we had: he's hungry and the power in his movements is impressive. Our tongues start to dance with each other as I put a hand behind his scalp. He gets closer and continues to play roughly with my lips,biting at my bottom one. After what it seemed like a few seconds,everyone starts cheering again but we don't pull apart. It looks like we both are enjoying this. Then I actually realize that 1 minute passed and,after he squeezes my ass cheeks,we separate.

As he sits back at his place,he licks his lips and smirks with a satisfied expression. It's my turn but I really need to go to the bathroom and I do so. I get up and say "I'll be back in a few". I rapidly finish my drink without even using my straw and I place it on the kitchen's island. But I immediately regret it. I start to get dizzy and confused. That was the third drink of the night. I lean over the counter and hold my head between my hands.

I hear footsteps behind me but I don't turn. I barely recognize his voice but it's him,it's Shawn. "Are you ok?" he says. I nod but I almost fall. He puts his hands under my arms to help me. "Ok,we're leaving,you're pretty wasted". He picks me up and holds me in his arms.

My head starts spinning but I keep my eyes open: before we exit the house,he greets everyone even though most of them are drunk. He then puts me down on the backseat of his Porsche. "Where are you bringing me?" I say with disappointment "I wanted to have fun" "You are drunk" he says. "No! I am not! I'm perfectly fine" I reply whilst the left part of my body almost slips down the seat as the car turns.

We arrive at the condo,so  he puts me down on my bed,and I reach his face with my freezing hands "I'm gonna get you a blanket,you're cold" he tells me "No stay here. You can warm me up" I wink at him and I try to kiss him,but he slips out of my grip. I pout my lips "What's wrong? You've always wanted to get in my pants since I've been here. Besides,I'm curious to see what the after party looks like". He doesn't even speak,he just covers me with my bedding and puts a pillow under my head.

I hold his bicep to keep him closer but all he does is kissing me on the forehead and saying "good night",and then he exits the room. I immediately fall asleep since the alcohol kicks in really bad.