Sacrifice

chapter 9 || Penelope

The tension in the air could be cutwith a knife. Shawn licks his lips and puts his hand under her chin,then he gets closer. It surprises me that Malia's the one to make the first move:she moves forward and kisses him with passion.

Shawn quietly moans. He must be surprised too,like the whole group. They kiss and her hands roam his upper body. Maybe she doesn't remember that we're all watching. A minute passes by and we all clap our hands. I do it too,but I'm actually not that excited.

I know that I shouldn't care about him,since I really like Scott,but her gesture was so unexpected. Maybe she feels something for him. Well,she's 100% better than Amy,but I don't know how I would feel about having her in our flat most of the time,with Shawn.

She sits and I hear Scott's voice "Ok,I know it's not my turn but I'm getting bored" then he takes the bottle and spins it. Ok,this must be a joke. It's turned on Amy. I hate this game. I pay attention to his face: he looks disappointed and a bit nervous. In fact he's a little sweaty but I don't know if it's from the alcohol or the whole kiss situation. He looks over me and mouths an "I'm sorry",but I still want to see how this one goes.

They both stand up at the center of the circle. She fixes her hair and makes her lips wet,and he just stays still. He doesn't look very comfortable. In fact,she's the one to rapidly kiss him,putting her grip under his scalp. My stomach curls multiple times as they get more intimate. I can even see his little smile throughout the whole experience.

My eyes start to burn,but I know it's not right to feel like this since I kissed Shawn too. And this is just a game. But I start to pant. I need to get out of here. The minute is still not over,so I grab my drink and head to the front door. I trip over someone's purse and the noise makes everyone turn: they separate. Why am I so clumsy?!

Luckily I still have my feet on the ground. As I quickly make my way to the outside of the building,I can hear Scott from the living room "Hey! Wait!" but also "No,you wait here".It's Shawn. I'm running to the beach to get as far as possible from that house.

I can hear someone running behind me but I don't turn: instead, I run even faster,until I can't breathe anymore. My knees fall onto the cold sand,and my hands stay still on the soft surface. I can't really see anything since it's dark,but I recognize his face, Shawn's face. He leans over and offers me his hand,but I don't want to get up. I take deep breaths and wipe my eyes,trying to hide my previous tears. As he gets that I'm not going to move,he sits next to me.

"Hey," he says placing an hand on my shoulder as new tears fall over my face. I'm so stupid. I'm not even that upset. It's just that seeing him smiling while kissing her,made me feel weird. And the effect of alcohol doesn't help at all. "Don't look at me. I don't even know why I'm crying. I mean,I kissed you too,and he didn't get annoyed.It was a game.I'm such a baby." I say with my hands into my hair.

"You're not a baby. It's not a really pleasing scene seeing the guy that you are interested in,kissing another girl. A girl that you don't even like." he replies "Yeah,but he saw us kissing too,and he didn't overreact since it was just a damn GAME!" I say,now raising my voice.

He doesn't add anything. We stay there for a while; the moonlight relaxes me,and so does the fresh breeze. Then I say "I need to go home. I'm going to apologize for being so immature...it's just...I don't wanna lose someone that finally likes me...after everything I've been through" and the old memories make me shiver. Maybe this is the reason why I felt like that. Now that someone is truly interested in me,I don't want anyone or anything to get in the way.

He agrees and helps me to get up as I shake off sands residues from my jeans. We both walk to the car in silence,and that's just what I need. Silence. Sometimes Shawn really gets me and makes me feel better,without being a total dick like always.